Unable to sleep, Jack and Jason snoring loudly on the nearby cot, she slid off her bed and wandered up to the roof. The wind was cool and soft on her skin and she hugged herself to keep warm. Sitting down on a plastic chair someone had left up there, she looked up at the bright stars and sighed.
It was hard to feel peace when you now knew you could kill without remorse and on pure instinct. In her mind, she replayed the image of that man, torn and bleeding, and how he had not even realized her finger was pulling back the trigger. He had been so relieved that she had saved him.
Then she had truly saved him.
Rubbing her hands together, she leaned forward and sighed. Staring at the rooftop between her feet, she took a deep breath of cool, fresh air. With the zombie bodies gone, she felt liberated to take deep breath
s. The air was fresh once more.
"We do what we have to do," Lydia's voice whispered.
She looked up to see Lydia sitting in the chair next to her. "Baby?"
Lydia smiled and reached out to run her fingers lightly down her cheek.
"I'm here, sweetie. "
Katie fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around Lydia's waist, clinging to her. Her cheek pressed to Lydia's lap, she began to weep. "I'm dreaming. "
"It's okay though, isn't it?" Lydia's long cool fingers stroked her hair gently.
"Yes, oh, yes. I was afraid I wouldn't dream of you anymore. Not after what I did. "
Lydia carefully lifted Katie's chin to gaze down at her. "And what did you do?"
"I killed that man. I just killed him. "
"But you killed Jason's friend and his friend's father at the camp. "
"They wanted me to. They were infected!" Katie face was wet with tears.
Lydia lovingly traced the contours of her face with the tips of her fingers.
"And how was this different?"
"I just…did…it. " Katie's voice caught and she shivered. "And I don't…feel bad. "
Lydia nodded. "I know, baby. And you shouldn't. You shouldn't feel bad.
You saved him from my fate. You liberated him from hell. You did what you had to. "
"I don't feel bad, Lydia, because I hate them. I want them all to die. I don't care what they are or once were. And when I knew he would be one of those things, he stopped being human to me and I killed him. And I don't fucking feel bad!"
Lydia leaned down and gently kissed Katie's forehead. "I know, baby. I know. But there is more, isn't there?"
Katie drew back. "I don't want to talk about it. "
"Katie, tell me. "
"I can't!" Katie stood up and wiped at her face with trembling fingers.
Lydia slowly stood up and took Katie's face between her hands. With infinite tenderness and love, she kissed Katie's lips. Katie clung to her and kissed her back.
"I love you, Lydia. I should have…"
Lydia lightly kissed her again. "Tell me. "
Katie shivered and whispered against Lydia's soft lips, "Oh, gawd…"