"Well, it’s no fun, that's for damn sure. Just consider yourself lucky and don't feel guilty. " Jenni looked down at what she had written in the earth next to some stick figures. It read "Benji". She quickly rubbed it out. She just couldn't think of those little fingers straining…straining…
"You okay?" Travis leaned forward and put a gentle hand on her shoulder.
Jenni looked up into his face and said simply, "No. "
He pressed his lips tightly together and nodded. "Of course you're not.
Sorry. "
She just looked down and shook her head. "Is anyone okay? Really? I don't think I was okay before all this went down. I think I'm actually somehow better now. " Her brow furrowed "That doesn't make sense, I know.
My children are…but…something inside of me is maybe stronger. "
Travis sighed and ran a hand over his hair. "Adversity brings out the best or the worst in people. Perhaps you are just finding some strength inside you didn't know you had. "
Jenni tilted her head, her dark hair falling softly around her pale face.
She considered this, then shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not sure. I just know that when…" She faltered for a moment. "…that when I saw what had happened to my children, who I was just stopped existing. I'm weirdly happy in this world. Just having Katie and Jason makes me feel solid. Safe. Being here makes me feel that way. "
Travis gave her that smile that warmed her to the very depths of her soul. "I'm glad you are dealing with all of this. I'm glad you and Katie and Jason made it here. I'm not sure what will happen next, but I know we're going to fight. And that at least is something. "
"I just want to kill them all. Kill them for killing…" She stopped and looked down at her dirty fingers.
The zombie woman finally reached the truck and began to bang on the side, moaning, screeching, desperate.
"I want to kill her. "
"Then do it," Travis said.
Jenni stood up slowly and Travis wordlessly handed her the makeshift spear.
Walking to the edge, Jenni looked down at the bloodied, upturned face and all that damned hair-sprayed blond hair. She felt Travis’ fingers slip under her coat and grab her belt to hold her steady. She cast a grateful look over her shoulder at Travis and lifted the spear. Her gaze narrowed on the woman's face and her glassy, blank eyes. So much like Lloyd's when he had looked up at her as he had stuffed more of Benji's tender baby flesh into his mouth.
Jenni let out a hiss between her teeth and slammed the tip of the spear, which was the trowel, down hard into the woman's eye socket. She felt the flesh giving way, the eye slicing apart like a boiled egg and shoved it down as hard as she could. She felt things giving way, scraping, mushing, and tearing.
She lifted and slammed it down again. Almost growling, she slammed it down over and over again until the female zombie slid down the side of the truck and lay still.
Jenni took great breaths of the rank, cool air and slowly handed over the spear. Travis took it and reached out and gently touched her shoulder.
"Better?"
"No. Not really. But it felt good. " Jenni gave him an awkward smile.
"You're a strange, strange girl in a strange, strange world," Travis decided and gave her a gentle hug.
Jenni nestled into his arms and smiled to herself. She then slipped away from him and sat back down on the dirt watching another surviving zombie try to walk over his dead comrades to them.
"Sure you don't want me to shoot him?"
Travis laughed and it was a wonderful sound to her ears.
4. Breathing Space
Katie stirred only once during the night. It was when Jenni had finally come into the small room to go to bed and had leaned over and kissed her forehead tenderly. Katie had sleepily opened her eyes to see Jenni lying down on her own cot and had reached out to take her hand. She had fallen back to sleep, Jenni's fingers intertwined with hers.
In the morning, she awakened to Jenni peacefully snoring and Jason sneaking out the door with Jack on his heels. She could smell hot, fresh coffee wafting through the building and pulled on her socks and boots immediately.
Almost stumbling down the narrow staircase, she found her way to the community dining room where people were gathered for coffee and a breakfast of what had been left over from the fundraiser dinner.