She kept her eyes down, like she was just as uncomfortable by the question as I was. “Yeah.”
My food wasn’t the only thing that sank into my stomach. There was something else, something heavy, like a big-ass rock. “Great. That’s just…great.”
I really was a fuck boy.
Natalia texted me and asked me to come to her apartment.
She was a good lay, was down for pretty much anything, and the fact that it was so wrong made it hot. All I wanted was something so meaningless that it barely required talking, and that’s exactly what she gave me.
She opened the door in a black teddy and garters, her blond hair big and all over the place, her lipstick bright red so she would leave marks all over my neck and dick. She had this irresistible confidence that I didn’t see in women my age, so that made me come back for more.
She grabbed the front of my shirt and tugged me inside, ready to fuck my brains out.
But I wasn’t into it at all, no matter how hot it was, no matter how dirty it was.
When she crushed her lips to mine and yanked down my fly, it felt weird.
Like, really weird.
I grabbed her arms and pushed her slightly away. “Look, this needs to stop.”
“Why?” She reached for me again, pulling me close.
“Because.” I wasn’t caving this time. My hands kept her at a distance from me. “It just does. Natalia, you’re a beautiful woman and I enjoy being with you, but I just… This doesn’t feel right.”
Stung by the rejection, she crossed her arms over her chest, and her eyebrows arched in offense. “It seemed to feel right to you up until now.”
“It never felt right—that was why I kept coming back. But now…I feel like I shouldn’t be here. You’re someone I admire, someone I still consider a mentor, so I’m ending this.”
“I’ve always been your mentor, so that’s not the reason, Dex. What is the real reason?”
I didn’t have an answer. “I guess I don’t have one.” I stepped back to the doorway and left her behind. I should have told her no when she texted me instead of making it all the way over here. “But it’s over, nonetheless.” I turned back around to look at her once more before I walked away for good. “I hope that we can continue to be professional going forward, that we can be colleagues again, that we can forget this ever happened.”
She continued to stand there with her arms over her chest, pursing her lips like she was furious about this. “Dex, you don’t need to worry about my professionalism. Am I angry that I’m getting dumped by the best sex I’ve ever had? Absolutely. But I know how to take rejection in stride and move on. I know how to not hold a grudge. The next time we see each other, it’ll be exactly what you want it to be. But don’t expect it to be that way tomorrow or the next day.” She grabbed the door and prepared to shut it in my face. “Goodbye, Dex.”
Daisy sat across from me at the restaurant, picking up her taco before she took a big bite. Her margarita was on the table, the rim covered with salt. She stared at me as she chewed, those smart eyes constantly absorbing the world around her, and then spoke her mind when she got the food down. “What’s your deal?”
I grabbed a chip and dunked it into the salsa before I threw it in my mouth. “I don’t have a deal.”
“You totally have a deal.” She grabbed a chip and copied me, this time dunking it into the guacamole we split. “Something happen at work?”
I kept in touch with Ginny’s parents while she was resting at home, and they had nothing but good things to say about her recovery. She was breathing normally, so she was eager to go outside and ride the new bike they got her, but they forced her to stay in bed and watch her favorite movies. “I had a rough surgery last week. Five-year-old girl, sweet little thing. She had a hole in her heart, but she also had a valve issue and some buildup in her arteries, so I basically had to race the clock to get her fixed up before bypass ended. Her heart wouldn’t restart for a while…scary fucking shit.”
“Geez. How is she now?”
“She’s great,” I said, so thankful that I got to say that out loud. “I would have thrown myself off a fucking bridge if she didn’t make it.”
“I’m glad she’s doing well. I’m surprised she had that hole for so long. Five is pretty old, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah.” But our health care system was a fucking joke.
“Is that all it is?” she asked. “Because you seem particularly down.”