“Yeah? I’m glad you like it.”
She wrapped it around her neck, bundling herself up. “I love it. Thank you, Dex.”
I slid my hands into the pockets of my coat as I looked at her cuteness, the way she could shift from being a sexy lady in heels to this adorable, cute…thing.
She stared back, her smile slowly fading.
I continued to look at her instead of taking my cue to leave. It was Christmas night, so she probably had plans with her family, but I continued to take up more of her time, time that I didn’t deserve. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.”
I turned to step away. “I’ll let you get back to your family—”
“Dex.”
I pivoted back.
She was closer to me now. “Are you doing alright?”
“Never better.” I went to my usual scapegoat, pretending I was a happy guy with a big-ass smile on my face. I thought compensating with jokes and laughter would throw people off my scent, but the people who knew me best seemed to know exactly what I really felt, underneath the mask. Going through this pain had taught me so much about human emotion, how the people who smiled the brightest were sometimes in the most pain, and we should always be kind to everyone we interacted with because you had no idea what battle they were fighting.
She crossed her arms over her chest, bringing her coat tighter around her body. “The holidays can be hard sometimes.” As if she understood exactly what I was thinking and feeling without my even having to say it, she made me feel better. “I had planned on bringing Vince to meet my parents for Christmas, and that blew up in my face. It’s a bit embarrassing, telling your mother you’re bringing a man home, and then having to tell her he’s married to someone else…or was.”
“I’m sorry…”
“I’m over it,” she said quickly. “I don’t think about him anymore. I just think about how stupid and naïve I was. That’s what bothers me.”
“Don’t beat yourself up, Sic.”
A gentle smile crept on to her lips as she looked up at me. “Don’t beat yourself up either.”
My mind suddenly felt less heavy, my skin warm, my lungs relaxed and comfortable. Christmas was a time for peace on earth, but she was the one who delivered it to me. She was the one looking at me now, like she understood me better than anyone in the world. There were a lot of things that came across my mind that I wanted to say, but I didn’t say a single one and chose to keep them to myself. Somehow, it felt nice not saying anything at all, just looking at her in that warm scarf.
“You want to come inside?”
I was snapped out of the moment by the question. “No, that’s okay. You should spend time with your family.”
“I’ll still be spending time with them—with you. Besides, a fresh pie just came out of the oven.”
I inhaled a deep breath. “Fuuuuck, how am I supposed to say no to that?”
She smiled then hooked her arm through mine. “Come on.”
“What kind?”
“Dutch apple.” She grabbed the box from the ground then walked with me to the front door, hand in the crook of my arm.
“Oh, baby, you’re killing me.”
She chuckled. “And then we just made a pumpkin a couple minutes ago—”
I sprinted to the front door.
She laughed loudly, her hand moving to her stomach as she bent over slightly. “Wow, a way to a man’s heart really is through his stomach.”
9
Sicily
The holidays ended, and it was back to the fast-paced life of the city. Dex had a million patients to get through, his surgeries were booking further and further in advance, and now we were working half days on Saturdays.
Dex’s schedule was hectic, juggling all of his different roles and having very little time to himself. He somehow squeezed in time to hit the gym every day, which was insane considering how tired he was by the end of the day.
The housecleaner just finished with her cleaning in his apartment, and I put all his groceries away. I didn’t spend a lot of time in his apartment other than when I delivered things and changed out his flowers. Sometimes he got packages, so I opened those and placed them where I imagined they would go, but I never went through his things.
But I did wonder if he still had that picture of his ex-wife.
It was none of my business, and I shouldn’t care.
But I hoped he realized she was a bitch and tossed it out.
I thought this place would feel cozier if he had pictures of his family since he was close with them, so I asked his mother for photos and set them up around his apartment, putting them on the table behind one of the couches, hanging them on the wall, filling the place with good memories.