“If I want?” I snorted. “Wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
She pulled her shirt over her head and looked at me.
“Are you sure?” she asked quietly. “I mean…if it makes you…uncomfortable, I understand. You aren’t obligated to go.”
“Rumple…” I sat up and pushed myself back against the head of the bed. “I mean…it’s a little weird, and I can’t say it doesn’t…well, make me miss it…but it’s not all about me. I want to see you play. I’ve never seen you play in an actual game, ya know.”
I smiled, hoping she believed me.
“I know,” she said with a shrug. “I just don’t want you to feel bad. It should be you…”
“Bullshit,” I replied. “I’m going to walk again—Danielle even said I would. It’ll probably be another couple of months, but I will walk. I’m not going to be able to play again…not like I did. I know that. I’ve accepted it.”
&nb
sp; “I know you say that,” she said as she walked back over to the bed and took my hand in hers, “but I also know it still has to get you down.”
I shrugged.
“Sometimes,” I admitted. “But I also know that despite what my dad always said, it’s not my whole life. I hope I’ll be able to…I dunno, at least run around and kick a ball again sometime, but if I don’t, I’ll live with it. Maybe I’ll coach or something. If I weren’t like this, I wouldn’t have you. Losing soccer is pretty fucking minor compared to that.”
Nicole reached over and placed her hands on my cheeks and kissed me softly.
“My hero,” she said quietly as she pulled away. I wasn’t having any of that, though, and dragged her back to me, kissing her deeper on her mouth before nibbling up her jaw.
“Hear my soul speak. Of the very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly at your service.”
“Smooth talker.” She giggled as she pulled away again. “See you Saturday, then?”
“I’ll be there.”
“Love you,” she said as she headed out the door.
“Love you more.”
“Not a chance.”
I snickered and lay back against the pillows, still smiling and still surrounded by her scent.
I knew I would never, ever regret how I ended up the way I did. I just needed to figure out exactly what I was going to do with my life now.
I placed the walker a few inches in front of me and shuffled my feet behind it.
I had just barely gotten used to the thing at all, and now that there was snow on the ground, I was completely paranoid about falling. Nicole and Greg were both hovering, and though in the back of my head I knew they just wanted to make sure the walker didn’t slip out from under me and send me flying down the driveway, part of me was still feeling claustrophobic and generally pissy.
“I put salt on the ramp,” Greg said for the tenth time. “I’ll make sure there aren’t any slick spots.”
I tried not to sigh out loud as Gardner gave me a big grin.
“Got enough fathers in your life now?” he asked.
I just sighed and looked toward the ramp.
It was supposed to be a happy homecoming after all, but I was still insanely nervous. I had grown comfortable during the six-plus months I had spent in the rehab center, and though I had been back to Nicole and Greg’s house a dozen times between then and now, this was different.
I was here to stay.
Well, somewhat.