“If there is something I'm not telling you, there is a good reason for it. If it's something important that you need to know, you have to trust that I'm not going to hold back.”
“Okay,” I replied. I didn't really know what else to say. The whole subject had me on edge, and I didn't know what I was supposed to do.
“You thought I was going to visit some guy, didn't you?” she said.
“You were.”
“He's an infant.”
“I didn't know that.”
“And you didn't trust me to be with another guy our own age.”
I thought about that one for a minute. Was that it? It didn't seem right.
“I didn't know if he was trustworthy,” I told her, “not you.”
“It's kind of the same thing there, Thomas,” she said. “You have to trust me to make the right decisions for myself, too.”
I had no fucking idea what that meant.
“I'll try, I guess,” I said.
“Thomas?”
“Yeah?” I looked up at her.
“Do you want this to…um…work?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you and me—us. Do you want us to work?”
I looked at her, froze, and I tried to think about what it would be like if it didn't work. What school would be like—seeing her, but not being with her? Would I want to go back to playing soccer without her watching me?
Fuck no.
“I want it to work,” I told her. “I do. I don't know what it really means, but I want it to work.”
“So do I,” she replied. “As far as what that means exactly, we'll figure it out together, okay?”
I nodded. Together sounded good.
Nicole sighed and ran her hands through her hair at the same time I did. She giggled a little, recognizing the gesture, and I wondered if she had always done that or if she picked it up from me.
“I'm going to go home,” Nicole said. “I need…a little space right now, okay?”
I knew my expression gave away my thoughts at the whole idea, but I also knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep at her house all the time. Dad would be back in a couple of days, and who knew how that was going to complicate everything? I hadn't even thought about how I was going to deal with that.
He’s going to make me dump her.
“Okay,” I said softly. I looked down at my hands on my thighs.
Nicole reached out and put her hands on top of mine.
“Come pick me up for school still?”
“Sure.” I tried to smile, but I didn't pull it off too well.