She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes at all.
“How are you feeling?”
Dying…empty…dead…revitalized…cold…warm…unsure…
I didn’t know, so I just shrugged.
“Hungry?”
I shrugged again.
“It’s getting late,” Nicole said quietly. “Do you want to call your dad and let him know where you are?”
I shook my head.
“He might be worried.”
“He’s not,” I said. I didn’t think Dad had ever really worried about me in the way she meant. He’d be pissed if I wasn’t at my next practice or if I didn’t show up for a game, but it was Saturday, and I wasn’t missing anything. I didn’t think he would be too concerned with my workout schedule right at the moment. It did make me wonder, however, what her dad would think of me being here in her bed.
Shit.
“Is your dad here?” I asked, my eyes going wide with a bit of panic, now that I was thinking about exactly where I was—in the sheriff’s house, in his daughter’s bed.
And he had a gun.
“No.” Nicole bit down on her lip to keep from smiling. “He’s on a fishing trip. He won’t be back until tomorrow.”
“Oh.” I relaxed again. My vision blurred into the pale off-white pillowcase. I inhaled again, letting the scent of her overcome all my other senses for a moment.
“Don’t you want to go home?” Nicole suddenly asked.
I shook my head emphatically.
“You really should.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Her blue eyes looked over me, and I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her everything, but I knew I couldn’t. How do you say that on this day—of all days—going home is the very last thing I want to do? How do you explain to someone how much your own father hates you? How much he would prefer that you had died on this day instead of her?
I would have preferred it that way, too.
“I’m not going home,” I said. “I can leave though. I don’t want to be…in the way.”
“You’re not,” she said. He voice was still soft and warm, and I was reminded of my dream, which was odd. As much as I remembered everything else, I rarely remembered my dreams. “But I do think your dad would want to know where you are. He has to be worried—”
“Trust me,” I said. I licked my lips, feeling how dry they were. I hadn’t had any water or anything to drink all day. “He’s not worried, and he’s not looking for me.”
She seemed to contemplate this for a while.
“Do you want to stay here?” she asked.
My heart started beating a little faster.
“Can I?” My voice was just barely above a whisper.
She nodded and put her pen down on her notebook before looking up at me again, her brow furrowed. She collected her legs underneath her and gracefully stood without using her hands for balance. She took two steps toward me and sat on the edge of the bed. She reached out and ran her fingers through my hair, and I closed my eyes to the feeling.