He rattled off the phone number and IM account information as I jotted it down.
“Got it.”
“Good luck!”
Yeah, I was going to need it.
I went home and ate. Dad was in the living room, and I was avoiding him like the plague, which would go on for at least the next week. He didn’t even acknowledge me, and I wondered if he was drinking yet. He obviously hadn’t gone to work since he was just hanging out in the same bathrobe he had on when I left for school. I snuck off to my room, did a little homework, and then sat in front of my laptop. I opened my email and found the one I was looking for. Inside was a link to an executable object, which I placed on my desktop and double-clicked. When it popped up, it asked for an IM account number.
I entered Nicole’s and clicked OK.
A few minutes later, my own Gtalk account beeped at me, and informed me that BlueSkye17 was asking to befriend me.
I smiled and accepted.
Then I sat there, staring at the screen with a small, blank box in the center of it, having absolutely no idea what to do.
Eventually, I closed it and shut down the computer. My head was still aching, so I popped a couple of Tylenol PMs down my throat and gulped a Dixie cup full of water from the bathroom tap. I lay down and watched the day go by…repeatedly. I managed to fall asleep just before midnight, but it wasn’t very restful.
Nicole completely ignored me the rest of the week even when I spoke directly to her. She didn’t come to the game on Friday, either. It was probably best because I played like shit, letting two goals get past me. Thankfully, both my dad and the scouts were absent since it was an away game. On the bus ride back, Crystal Lloyd sat down next to me and practically crawled onto my lap so she could stick her tongue down my throat. It was a nice distraction, but by the time we got back to town, I just wanted out of there despite her promises of additional entertainment.
The week hadn’t been the greatest under any circumstances, and it wasn’t exactly the very best time of year for us, regardless. My chest was starting to tighten up, and even though I hadn’t really forgotten, I had put the exact date out of my head. That didn’t seem to keep it from creeping up on me, though. Once I got home, I told dad about the game, skipped some of my bigger blunders, got chewed out anyway, and then headed for the shower.
Afterwards, I locked the door to my room and turned on my laptop. I sat in the desk chair in my boxers as I had for the past four nights and stared at IM, a little empty box with BlueSkye17 written up in the corner.
There was a green dot next to her name, indicating that she was online.
I reached out and pressed the “H” key, followed by the “I”.
I deleted them both.
Then I typed them again.
Then I deleted them again.
I let out a long sigh
, shut down my laptop, and got into bed. I lay there and stared at the ceiling, but nothing happened.
Damn it, Malone!
I got out of bed, booted the pissy laptop back up again, typed “Hi,” and hit enter before I could stop myself. I closed my eyes and sat back in the chair, waiting for the little chime that would tell me someone had replied to my message.
I waited.
And waited.
I opened my eyes again.
And realized she wasn’t online anymore.
Fuck my life.
After tossing back a couple of Tylenol PMs—which had become a regular routine at night—I threw myself back on the bed and covered my eyes with my hands. I needed to get to sleep, and before the date changed. Tomorrow would be bad enough, but if the clock hit midnight before I fell asleep, I wouldn’t get any rest at all.
“You may my glories and my state depose, But not my griefs; still am I king of those.”
As the clock approached midnight, the king of all my own griefs began to demand attention. I fought it as hard as I could and eventually just closed my eyes and refused to look at the clock again.