“I waited for my mom to go to work one day and went into her room. In her closet, I found an old box that had my school records in it. My birth certificate was in there, too. Then I used the phonebook to see if he lived in Jamestown. He did.
“The next day, when my mom went to work, I stole some money out of a jar she would put her tips in every night. That was the money she would save to buy groceries with. What money she made waitressing after she paid rent for the dump we lived in would go to her drugs, so I knew when she found out, she was going to beat my ass when she got home. I didn’t care.
“I called a taxi and gave the driver the address I found in the phonebook. The driver didn’t want to take me, but I cried and said my dad had a flat tire and was late picking me up after school. He believed me, and when we got there, I had to count out the change to pay him, knowing I didn’t have enough to get home. I was dumb as shit, thinking that, when my dad saw me and we talked, he would give me a ride home. Truthfully, I hoped he would let me stay with him.” She kept staring into the empty hotel room, her mind going back to that day, while Calder silently listened, smoking his cigarette.
“When the taxi pulled away, I was too nervous to knock on his door. I walked up and down that street, I bet, twenty times before I saw a big car pull into the driveway.” She gave a soft laugh, brushing her sweaty palms against the bottom of the T-shirt. “A man got out of the car wearing a suit. I was standing on the sidewalk, and I fucking knew he was my father. I looked just like him. I was so busy staring at him I didn’t notice the woman or the girl getting out of the back seat until they slammed the car doors.
“His wife was all dressed up in a matching pant suit with her hair all done up. She was nothing like my mother. My mom wouldn’t want to be buried in that outfit. The little girl was handing my father her backpack as if it was too heavy to carry. She wasn’t anything like me, either.
“I was too self-conscious of my jeans that were so old they came up to my ankles, and the shirt that was so big on me it hung off my shoulders, that my mom had gotten from the Goodwill. I hid behind a tree until they went inside and then walked home. I took the beating my mom gave me for stealing her money and never told her what I had done.”
“You never tried to contact him again, even when you got older?”
“No. When I saw who his little girl was, I never wanted to see him again.”
“For God’s sake, why not?”
“Because she was in the same grade I was in. You’ve probably even met her. It’s Allison Staff.”
21
“I’ve met Allison. She and her old man came into Stud’s garage, wanting to buy a bike. He told them to get the fuck out of his garage. I couldn’t believe that he was turning business away. When he told me why, I understood.” Calder remembered the woman who had turned her nose up at Stud and him when the couple had come into the garage. “He told me how she helped several girls jump Sex Piston on the school bus.”
“She was their lookout.”
“Does she know you’re her sister?” He saw a faint resemblance between the two, but nothing that would make it obvious they were sisters.
“Hell no. You think my father would let anyone know he fucked the town whore? He did me a favor keeping his trap closed. The thought of Allison being my sister makes me want to puke. The only ones I’ve told are Sex Piston and the rest of the crew, and they aren’t any happier about it than I am.
“He came and saw me once when he found out my mom had cancer. I told him not to let the door hit him on the way out. I hate his fucking guts. That’s why I’m telling you. You need to talk to Stud and Sex Piston and find a way to tell Star. If she finds out for herself, Star will hate all of you.”
It was his worst fear, right on top of her finding out. Both his fears were on different sides of the fence, but both had consequences that were going to hurt Star.
He ground his cigarette out on top of the soda can he had left outside last night. “I don’t know what to do.” He looked at her for help, admitting he was at a loss.