Seeing he was asleep, he managed to turn them so he could rest against the bed.
When the door squeaked open, his eyes met Peyton’s as she quietly came back into the room.
“What set him off?” Calder whispered, not wanting to wake Gavin.
“They decreased his medication to wean him off. Then Taylor called. She wants to see him.”
He wouldn’t want the woman he loved to see him in the shape he was in.
“The nurse called Viper. He’s on his way.”
“Call him back. Tell him to stick to the schedule. Tell him I got it under control.”
“Thank God you showed up early. They wanted to give him a sedative.”
“The last thing he needs is someone coming at him with a needle.”
She straightened the room as Gavin slept.
“You want me to help you get him on the bed?”
“No, he needs the sleep. When he wakes up, I’ll get some food down him.”
“He ate much better this week. The doctor said he gained two pounds.”
“That’s good. Go get some rest. You look like you need it.”
“I will. Thanks, Calder.” She left them alone.
Laying his head back on the side of the mattress, Calder was able to snag a pillow to rest his head on. Bunching it under his head without disturbing Gavin, he closed his eyes.
He didn’t know how long they slept, but he felt it when Gavin started to move. Calder lifted his eyelids to see Gavin using the side of the bed to get off the floor.
“Sorry to wake you, but waking up in your arms wasn’t what I was ever hoping for.”
Calder laughed. “I can’t say I blame you. You wouldn’t be my first choice, either.”
He groaned. Every muscle in his body hurt from the position they had been in.
“One of those orderlies punched me when I was out.” Gavin’s groan echoed his own.
“Not unless they got me, too.” He had to use the same method to rise as Gavin had, moving around with stooped shoulders until they could move freely again.
Calder pushed the call button. “I hope you’re hungry. I’m starved.” He requested two trays from the nurse who answered.
“I’m ready for lunch. I’m surprised they haven’t brought it yet.”
“They could have come in while we were sleeping and didn’t want to interrupt our beauty nap.”
“More like they wanted a break from my shit.” Gavin gave him a shame-faced look. “It hit me hard. I would have shoved it in me if I could have gotten it.”
“You wouldn’t have.”
“You don’t know that shit,” he seethed. “I would have!”
“This rehab center isn’t on Mars. Drugs are floating around here, just like there was in prison. You’re on a battleground wherever you are. You won a battle today. Be proud of yourself.”
“Because you were here.”
“You wouldn’t have given in. You would have just asked for your dosage to go back up.”
“I hate that shit.”
“I know. You’re almost off it. Next week, it will be on you whether you can do without it or not.”
“You going to be here?”
“I’ll be here. Peyton will be here this weekend. They normally lower your doses on Monday, so I’ll be here with bells on. We’ll do something to celebrate.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. You tell me. Anything you’ve been wanting? I’ll see if I can make it happen.”
“I want to see Taylor.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I need to see the woman I fought so hard to stay alive for.”
“That’s why I don’t think you should see her. What if it sets you off the way it did today?”
“You said yourself my recovery is a battleground. It’s another battle I’ll have to get through. Might as well be now instead of later. That way, if you’re here, you can keep me from going for those orderlies’ jugulars.”
“You know the biggest mistake an addict can make? Lying to yourself. Brother, I smell the bullshit from over here.” Calder saw the determination on his face and knew there wasn’t a way to talk him out of it. “I’ll talk to the doctor and see what he has to say.”
“Thanks.”
The nurse came in with two trays. The woman gave them an intent glance before leaving.
“She saw us sleeping.”
Gavin grinned. “I bet she tells everyone in the nurses’ lounge.”
“Could be worse. At least you’re not ugly. Those two pounds look good on you,” Calder wisecracked.
“Fuck you.”
After lunch, they walked around the grounds. Calder was glad Gavin’s stamina was improving. He was walking longer distances without resting as long. They even worked out thirty minutes in the gym before Gavin was ready to go back to his room.
When it grew dark after dinner, they went to sit on his back patio. Calder unrolled his smokes from his shirtsleeve, taking one for himself and giving one to Gavin.
“You ever miss them?”
“The drugs?” Calder flicked his ashes away, staring down at the burning tip.