He stands, closes my legs into some semblance of respectability and pulls me up. Our eyes meet. God! This man is so beautiful.
‘You look like you could do with a drink,’ he says, tying the towel around his hips.
I find my jeans and pull them on. He walks to the bar, pours us a glass of whiskey each. He passes me a glass and our fingers touch. A spark goes through me. I withdraw my hand, spilling whiskey. His eyes are dark, but I can tell by the set of his mouth that the sex is over. It is time to talk.
I pour the whiskey into my throat. It burns all the way down.
He raises his eyebrows, but says nothing. I notice that he doesn’t drink, but puts his glass down on the counter. He swivels his head.
‘You wanted to talk?’
‘Yeah.’
Suddenly I am nervous. What if it is only sex with him? What if Nan is wrong? I swallow hard. I open my mouth and his phone rings. He frowns. I have noticed that his phone almost never rings. The last time it rang it had been Dom telling him about the fire.
‘Can you wait one moment?’
I nod.
He moves toward it. Looks at the screen and immediately presses the answer button.
‘Yeah,’ he says and his voice is worried.
I can hear a woman’s voice. It sounds panicked and hysterical.
‘Calm down. Calm down,’ he says.
The voice becomes slightly subdued.
‘Yes, it’s true,’ he admits.
And the voice screams so loud he stares at the phone in disbelief. Then he looks at me and silently mouths, ‘It’s my mother.’
I nod solemnly. A family problem of some kind, obviously.
‘Look, Ma. I’ll come around tonight. Just please calm down. I’ll explain everything when I get there, OK?’
Even from where I am I can hear her ranting, not in the least comforted. At one point Jake has to hold the phone away from his ear.
‘What the hell are you on about? I’m perfectly fine.’ He runs his hand through his hair distractedly.
‘All right, I’ll be there in less than an hour,’ he concedes.
I hear another explosion of sound.
‘OK, OK, I’ll leave now. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.’
I hear quiet sobbing.
‘Ma, stop it. Ma?’
I hear another hysterical outpouring.
He sighs with frustration. ‘I’ll come right now, OK? Just wait for me.’
He terminates the call and looks at me. ‘She’s a bit distraught.’
‘What happened?’
‘Apparently, Andrea called and told her I married you.’ He raises an eyebrow. ‘Any idea how Andrea knew?’
‘Oops, sorry,’ I say, biting my bottom lip.
He grins at me. ‘It’s not like I wasn’t going to tell her anyway, but it does mean I have to go see her now. Will you wait for me here? We’ll talk when I come back.’
I nod.
‘Come upstairs and keep me company while I dress.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah.’
And I thought it was going to be difficult and awkward. It is not. I smile. God! I’m so in love with this man. ‘OK.’
I watch him pull on a pair of black jeans in silence, just drinking in the sight of him. He pulls a black T-shirt over his taut muscles.
‘Why does your mother hate me?’
He looks at me seriously and doesn’t try to gloss over the issue. ‘I don’t know. But I know she doesn’t know you the way I do and when she does she’ll absolutely love you…’ For a moment it seems as if the sentence is not complete, then he smiles and goes to the door. I follow him.
At the door he turns and kisses me.
‘You smell of sex and me,’ he whispers in my ear.
I rear back. ‘I’ll have a shower before you get back.’
‘Don’t you dare. I love it.’ A smile tilts his mouth and warmth kindles in my belly. He goes down the steps, turns back and starts walking backwards mouthing, ‘Be back soon. Don’t go anywhere.’
He blows a kiss and I shyly return it. Maybe, it’s going to be all right.
I watch him get into his car and drive off. Then I close the door and lean against it. The house is large and deathly quiet around me. I shut my eyes and hold to the fierce joy that burns in my chest. I think of the way his gaze had followed my tongue as it licked my lower lip. I remember the heat and I recall the tenderness between us, almost surreal. And I cover my mouth to hide the smile of pure happiness.
And what do the gods do?
They make my phone ring. I look at it and for a few rings I do nothing. Just stare at the number. I knew I shouldn’t have called Robin. Then I press Answer and put it to my ear.
A woman says cheerily, ‘Hey, Lily. It’s Amber.’
‘Hey, Amber,’ I say automatically. Amber is the way that Robin makes contact with me.
‘How are you?’
‘Fine.’ I clear my throat. ‘I’m fine.’
‘We should meet. Go out for coffee or something.’
‘OK. Where do you want to go?’
‘How about Starbucks? You like the green tea thingamajig there, don’t you?’
‘Yes, I love it. Let’s meet there. When?’
‘How about now?’
‘Now?’
‘Yes, I have so much to tell you.’
‘Right. I’ll be there in the next twenty minutes.’
‘Oh, good. Can’t wait to see you again.’
‘Same here,’ I reply.
‘Bye,’ she says in a high, bright voice.
‘Bye,’ I say in a low, sad voice.
You take your aim. You fire. And shoot me down. Fuck you, Fate.
My legs feel like lead. I go into Jake’s office. I have only been here once. I know the drawers are all locked and the desk is always stunningly bare. I take a piece of paper from the printer.
I take the quill from the ink stand. Just like him to have a fucking quill instead of a ballpoint pen. I feel the tears pricking at my eyes. No, I will not cry. There is a way out. I know it. I am unlucky but he is lucky and he will get what he wants. And he wants me. I know that. Well, I think I know that. Maybe he doesn’t love me. But he wants me. I can tell. With every action he shows me. And Jake always gets what he wants.
I write my note. It is short and to the point.
Jake,
I have to go out for a bit. I’ll see you when I get back, OK? x
Should I add another kiss? One seems so informal. A jeering voice says, WTF! So I add three more kisses.
And then I leave my sanctuary.
SEVEN
Lily
The Starbucks in Baker Street is quiet. Robin is sitting on a sofa in a corner at the back. He stands and waves to me. I walk toward him. He is wearing jeans and an expensive leather jacket over a Ralph Lauren T-shirt. His face is familiar—his eyes travel my face and body quickly, assessing, assimilating. I can see that he hasn’t ordered anything yet.
‘Look at you,’ he says loudly, so that anyone watching would just think we are friends meeting after a long time.
He kisses me on the cheeks enthusiastically while I stand awkwardly in the loose circle of his arm. ‘How’ve you been?’
‘Fine.’
‘What will you have?’
‘A latte.’
‘Anything to eat?’
I shake my head.
‘You sure? The company is picking up the bill,’ he tempts with a grin.
‘Not hungry, Rob,’ I reply.