“I didn’t realize how close you were with Logan’s family,” Mom says as the elevator doors close. Her voice is void of emotion, and I can’t tell if she’s simply making a statement or trying to take a jab at me.
“The Dawsons are good people,” I tell her. “All of them.”
“Logan comes from a big family?”
I nod. “He has two more brothers and a younger sister.”
“And one is the sheriff?”
“Yeah. Weston. He’s the oldest.”
“And you’re able to tell Logan apart from his twin?” She fiddles with the last button on her sweater. Mom is just as scared as I am, and asking me questions is a good distraction.
“I can. I’ve always been able to, actually. They have completely different personalities, and Owen has a scar on his forehead that’s hard to see, but once it’s pointed out, it’s obvious.”
Mom slowly nods her head up and down. “Five children. That’s a lot.”
“Yeah. It is. But they get along great and going over to Logan’s parents’ house with everyone is fun.”
The elevator stops at the third floor. This hospital is small, old, and more than ready to be knocked down when the new hospital is done. Mom and I hurry to the nurses’ station, and we’re led to my grandpa’s room. He’s in the ICU and is hooked up to a bunch of machines. The nurse says he’s asleep, but his vitals are holding steady.
Steady, but not improving.
I start crying as soon as I see him, lying there on the bed with his eyes closed. Grandpa naps on the couch at home quite often, and the way he’s sleeping now doesn’t look like how he sleeps at home.
There’s not much color in his cheeks. His arms are straight out at his sides, looking like he was posed and not lying naturally. I can hardly see his chest rising and falling as he breathes. Surviving a heart attack is exhausting, I know, and I just want him to wake up and tell me everything is going to be okay.
“Grandpa,” I whisper, and go to him. I sink onto the chair next to the bed and let my head fall down as I cry. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there with you.” I curl my fingers around his hand, careful not to bump into the IV line. I sniffle, trying to control my sobs so I don’t wake him up. “You wouldn’t believe the weekend I had even if I told you.”
I swallow hard and pick my head up, wiping my eyes. Mom is still standing in the doorway, tears in her eyes as she looks at her father. I can’t even begin to imagine what she’s going through right now, and I don’t want to.
She’s the one who left.
Who turned her back on this town. On her family and friends.
On me.
Grandpa and I tried to get Mom, Dad, and Diana to come for Thanksgiving. And then Christmas.
Grandma’s birthday.
The guilt hits me. I spent so many years running from town to town. Hell, I even left the country for a few months. I should have come here from the start. Tears well in my eyes, and I turn my head, unable to keep from crying.
A nurse comes in to check on Grandpa, and Mom talks to her, somehow able to keep it together. I bend my legs up under myself, shivering.
“It’s going to be okay,” I tell Grandpa and put my hand on his again. “You’ll get through this, get back on your medication, and we can go back home. I’ll get you one of those ‘old person’ pill cases too. You know, the ones with the days of the week on them, and I will check it every day and make sure you’ve taken your pills.”
Exhaustion is starting to hit me.
“So,” I whisper so quietly I don’t think he’d be able to hear me even if he were awake. His hearing has been going, and I have to speak rather loud on a good day. “Logan and I pretended to be engaged.” I look at Mom again, who’s still talking to the nurse. “And I hiked through the Bamboo Forest and saw three waterfalls. I jumped off a rope swing too.” I hold up my arm. “I got a battle wound from it. It’s just a surface scratch, but it was enough to freak Di out a bit at first. She was worried how I’d look in pictures. I think it makes me look tough. I’ll say I got it from fighting off some sort of wild creature.”
My eyes flutter closed, imagining Grandpa laughing at me as he asks if there are any dangerous wild animals in Hawaii. I actually have no idea, but I want to say no since so many tourists walk through that forest and you never hear of anyone getting mauled by bears.