Archer just rolls his eyes. “That’s not an issue for Quinn, you know. It’s creepy, really, how easily she can get around that sort of stuff.” He shakes his head. “But it looks like Charlie recently deleted all the photos with her and her fiancé. It looks like she’s single.”
“And we wanted to tell you in person,” Dean finishes. Those two really could pass for a couple. “Because I think she’s going to be in town for a while.”
“That’s fine,” I tell them, swallowing my pounding heart. I was fairly certain Charlie hadn’t stepped foot back in Eastwood in years. I pour more whiskey into each glass and pass them to Archer and Dean this time. “I don’t own the fucking town. She can be here if she wants.”
“And you’re okay with her being back?” Archer asks. He’s not my brother by blood but has felt like part of the family even before he married Quinn. He was there when shit when down with Charlie and, dammit, I think he knows what I’m not willing to admit to myself.
That I’m still in love with her.Chapter 6Charlie“You’re up early.”
I put the coffee pot back on the warmer and turn to see Mom coming into the kitchen.
“Couldn’t sleep?”
“The opposite, actually,” I tell her. “I slept soundly for the first time in weeks and didn’t wake up exhausted. And I didn’t consume half a bottle of wine in order to get me to sleep this time around.”
“What led to this change?”
“Todd called.” I add cream to my coffee, waiting for Mom to say something. “And we had a decent talk, well until he tried to get me to have phone sex with him.” I shudder.
“You’re not…you’re not thinking about…”
“Getting back together with him? Oh hell no. But it did give me some closure. We fought a lot, Mom, and I can finally admit that. I never wanted to tell anyone, thinking it might make them not like Todd.” I bring my hot coffee to my lips and take a careful sip. “And I should have known something wasn’t right when he delayed the wedding the first time and I was kind of okay with it. And then talking to him last night…it reminded me of all the issues I was so willing to overlook, and now I just can’t understand why I was going to do that.”
I lean against the counter. “I don’t miss him anymore, Mom. I’m not all that sad. In fact, I feel like I dodged a bullet, and that feels wrong. I should be sad, right? It’s only been a few weeks.”
“I have a girlfriend, Bonnie, who lost her husband suddenly to a heart attack. Five months after his funeral, she was going on dates again. You can imagine the scandal it caused amongst our little social group. But her heart was ready and dating new men didn’t mean she missed her husband any less. As she put it, it made her realize how short life is and how she didn’t want to live out her remaining days focusing on the pain.”
Mom pours coffee into a mug. “I know your situation isn’t the same, but my point is to show you there isn’t a right amount of time to grieve a loss. And you suffered a loss, just in a different way.”
I cup my hands around my coffee mug and stare into the light brown liquid as if it’s going to shift into a magic mirror and give me all the answers.
“I did,” I agree. “And I never thought I’d say this out loud, but I think what upset me more wasn’t that I was losing Todd, but that I’d have to tell people my life sucks. I was more worried about being embarrassed and judged than I was to lose the man I thought I’d marry.”
“That’s understandable, and you’ve always put a lot of pressure on yourself, honey. But it’s okay, I promise you, it’s okay. People mess up and make mistakes and have bad things happen to them. What matters is how you react to the event more so than the event in itself.”
I nod. “Hiding out in my old bedroom is more embarrassing than being cheated on.”
“You’re allowed to be sad and allowed to take time to heal, Charlotte,” Mom says, using my full name to drive the point home. “But you can’t wallow.”
“I’m done wallowing. I already left a message with Daryl about renting an apartment in town, and when Dad gets home tonight, I’m going to talk to him about doing something at the firm. I know there’s not much to do until Timothy Fenton is officially retired, but I can sit in on cases or something to keep busy.”
Mom smiles, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. “You’ve always been my strong, smart girl.”