“Yeah,” I say and heave again, food coming up so hard it leaves through my nose. Everything inside me hurts, and I want to collapse onto the floor, falling asleep for the next twelve hours at least. Instead, my body dry heaves, bringing up nothing but bile this time.
I’ve been nauseous, but this isn’t morning sickness. I don’t think at least. It’s shock and fear and…and dread. I close my eyes and see the smile on Lucas’s face and feel sick all over again as guilt settles in.
He’s happy. I can tell from that half second before I threw up. He’s a vampire and yet he’s having a baby.
We’re having a baby.
Oh my fucking god.
I grip the seat of the toilet and heave again.
“Do you want some water?” Lucas keeps a hold of my hair and gently rubs my back.
I want to puke this baby right out of me is what I want. Because we can’t have a baby. Not when all of Heaven wants to kill me and demons are banging down my door every other day. It’s a challenge just to make it through the day, let alone carry another human being inside me.
I shake my head and reach for the toilet paper to wipe my mouth. Tears burn the corners of my eyes, and now I’m regretting telling Lucas I don’t want water because I do, and it’s making me really sad for some reason.
Dammit. I’m so fucking pregnant. “I do want water,” I say, voice hitching. I heft back, putting my head in my hands and start crying. I can feel Lucas looking at me, but then he gets up, zooming out of the room and coming back in just seconds with a glass of water.
I rinse out my mouth, spitting into the toilet. I flush everything down and take a slow drink.
“You’re pregnant,” Lucas repeats, sliding his hand over my abdomen. “I…I got you pregnant.”
“Of course you did,” I snap. “Who’s else would it be? I’m sorry.” I sniffle, bottom lip quivering.
“Callie,” Lucas whispers and pulls me into his lap. “Breathe. It’s going to be all right.”
“Is it?” I blink my eyes open, but tears blur my vision. “I’m scared,” I admit as fat tears fall down like rain.
“Do you still feel sick?” he asks me.
“I’ve felt sick all week,” I tell him, lips curving down into a deep frown. “But I don’t think I’m going to throw up any more.”
“Good.” He picks me up and starts to leave the bathroom.
“Wait,” I say. “Can I see the test?”
Lucas holds me steady against his chest with one arm and picks up the test. Any last shred of hope I was holding onto goes away. There’s no mistaking those two pink lines.
I. Am. So. Fucking. Pregnant.
And then it hits me all over again. Lucas is going to be a father. He’s been dead for over a thousand years. He told me before Eliza is the closest he’ll ever have to a child. I accepted the fact I’d never have children of my own because I love Lucas more than anything.
He’s a vampire.
Vampires can’t have children.
But for a brief moment, he was somewhere in between dead and alive. And that brief moment is all it took.
“Holy shit,” I say, and my breath leaves me in a ragged huff. Lucas carries me into our bedroom and lays me down on the bed, hand landing on my stomach again.
“You’re pregnant,” he repeats and looks into my eyes.
“Are you mad?” I rush out.
“No.” He puts his lips to mine, kissing me deeply. “This…this…” He trails off and kisses me again, moving between my legs. His cock starts to harden against me, and despite the nausea, I want him. “I never thought I’d have a child of my own,” he says softly, kissing my neck.
“Did you want one?” I ask in a small voice.
“Yes,” he answers with no hesitation. “I did. I…I do.” He takes his mouth off me and looks into my eyes. “And I couldn’t ask for a better mother to my child.”
More tears spill from my eyes, and my lips part, but my words turn into a strangled sob.
“What are we going to do?” I finally ask, voice thin. “Ruth has it out for me, Bael knows I’m half archangel, and if we kill them both tonight, it won’t be the end of it.”
“We will do what we always do.” Lucas brushes my hair back. “We’ll fight. For us.” He moves his hand to my stomach again. “For our family.”
I nod, and more tears roll down my face. I wish I could blame all of this on hormones, but I know it’s not just that.
I’m fucking terrified.
“I don’t think I can do this,” I admit, voice breaking. “I don’t know how to be a mom.”
“And you think I know how to be a dad?” Lucas asks, smiling. “We’ll figure it out together.”