This would be worth it—even the pain of losing Armie— if Noelle had a good life.
“I don’t want to.” Noelle sniffled, tears in her eyes.
“I don’t care what you want.” Armie stood firm. “You have two years before you can get out from under my roof, and during that time I will expect certain things from you. One of those things is going to be PT and doing everything Lila asks of you. I’m indulgent but I can’t be moved on this, sweetheart. This is your future.”
“You don’t want me here. You want me to leave,” Noelle choked out.
“No, but I damn straight want you to be able to leave if that’s your choice. Now get on those bars and get started,” he commanded.
Lila waited, her heart in her throat because this was such an important moment between father and daughter. Armie might not understand it, but he was choosing to walk again, too. He was choosing to try to move forward and find another path.
Noelle sat there for a moment and Lila worried she was going to refuse. The truth was they could push all they liked, but in the end, Noelle was the one who had to do the work. She was the one who had to take the pain and try.
She shook her head, but there was a spark in her eyes. “You two want to watch me fall? You want to see me fail? Fine. Fucking fine.”
“Noelle,” her father admonished.
Lila put a hand up to stop him. “No, she’s making an adult choice. Here in this place she gets to use any language she needs to in order to get through a session.”
Armie nodded. “You’re right.” He turned back to his daughter. “So do it, Noelle. Get up there and try.”
She seemed to understand she was in a corner and there was only one way out. “Fine. You’ll see. You’ll be the one who’s disappointed because your only child is broken and damaged. This is for you. Maybe I won’t be a burden if you can get me to walk.”
Armie paled.
“Don’t give in to that.” Lila had seen it all. “That’s not Noelle. That’s her fear trying to find a way out, and fear doesn’t play fair. So don’t play at all. Get on the bars, Noelle.”
Noelle huffed, but shifted forward in her seat.
Her father was right there, lifting her up. “Do I settle her on here?”
“The bars have been adjusted to the proper height, and I know she’s scared of falling but the floor is padded.” It would still hurt, but she’d made the place as safe as she could.
“I’m not worried about falling. Who cares about me falling?” Noelle asked. “What’s one more injury as long as I can prove to you that I’m a fucking invalid? Maybe you two can move me into a nursing home after this and you can have some perfect, non-flawed kids you can actually love.”
Armie looked like he wanted to throw up, but he didn’t falter. “We’ll talk about that in a while, Noelle. Not now. Now you work. LaVignes work.”
“I’m not much of a LaVigne, am I?” Noelle said even as she gripped the bars.
She was going to fight until the end. Lila ignored it. “I need you to balance on the bars. Your feet are flat on the mat. That’s good. Today we don’t have to do anything more than get used to being on the bars. Find your balance.”
“I don’t have any fucking balance.” Noelle seemed intent on using her new freedom of language.
She said she didn’t have balance and yet she was standing with both feet planted and her hips only slightly off. The therapists had done an excellent job keeping her muscles strong. And her slender arms held a wealth of strength. Still, her face contorted as she held herself up.
“It’s okay. We’ll go slow. I’d like to try fifteen seconds at a time. We’ll try it three times today and work our way up,” Lila explained. “The injury you have has a good chance at healing if we do this right.”
“Fifteen seconds at a time? No. I’m trying this once and then I’m done.” Noelle shifted her arms and that was when it happened. Her right leg moved from the hip but in an odd, coltish fashion. Her foot slipped and Noelle headed for the ground.
Her father was the slightest bit too slow to catch her. She hit the ground with a dull thud.
The room went silent. Lila knew it was a good thing, but sometimes the patient didn’t understand. She knew Armie was going to break soon. He wouldn’t be able to watch his baby in pain.
He dropped to his knees beside his daughter. “Sweetie, are you okay?”
“It hurts,” Noelle said, her shoulders shaking.
“I’m so sorry.” Armie’s whole being was focused on his daughter.