I learned a lot about myself in the last year and a half. I was funny, smart, and quite charismatic. Throughout my time of finding myself the one thing that I realized, my huge wake up call and revelation was that; I was lost. I wanted something in my life that I assumed was the power I held over men. I learned that it wasn’t that all along, it was the feeling of belonging somewhere. I thought I could never love a man, because I wasn’t made like that, but in reality I couldn’t love anyone because I never loved myself. After every client, I felt empty and alone.
I would push those thoughts away just making myself think that I was that person. I wasn’t, it was complete and utter bullshit that I would tell myself to continue with the choices that I was making. I was sabotaging myself. I didn’t think I deserved anything good to happen to me. In reality, I was still that lost little girl that wanted someone to love her, and I pretended that I was getting that when I was a VIP. All I was doing was burying myself in a deeper hole that I created in the first place.
I wake up every morning with a huge smile on my face. I know now that I am worthy of amazing things to happen and to come. I no longer have to live in fear of not belonging somewhere because, I do. I have that here on the island, I have that with VIP, and I have that with Devon. I am loved and I can love in return, with no remorse, regret, or trepidation that it will be taken away from me. I am who I am and she is fucking fabulous.
The family that I established here, we looked out for each other. I kept in touch with everyone. Brooke had come with some of the girls for a two week getaway and they caused more trouble than I knew what to do with, but damn did they bring in a crowd. Madam called every so often to check up on me, and little by little, the resent in her voice turned neutral. I knew she thought that I would eventually return, but it was never going to happen. In her own fucked way Madam does love me, she was a mother to me in many ways, like any parent she punished me the only way she knew how. I’m sure there’s a huge story with her that I will never know, because everyone has a past. I was fortunate it enough to be able to leave it there.
I had settled in nicely. Building a bar right on the water, turned out to be quite profitable. The nightclub that it turned into after dark pulled in all the tourists and people from all over the continent. I had a 1,000 square foot space built above where I lived. I lived and breathed the bar, it was mine. I had earned enough money with VIP to last me several lifetimes, and with the revenue from the bar, I’d never have to worry about being that little girl that I left in section eight housing ever again.
Devon was coming next month with his family, his wife and I made friends, sort of…My life had slowly turned into what I needed it to become. I was happy. I never thought I would know what that feeling was, I was hopeful for what the future would bring.
However, when I allowed myself to think about Sebastian, it hurt a little less every time. One afternoon I was lying in my hammock reading when I heard Chance bark and take off after something. I quickly took off after him, and I couldn’t block the sun from my eyes. When I finally got close enough to see who it was petting him, I thought I was imagining it.
I stopped dead in my tracks and just waited. He smiled at me, brushed the sand off his lap, and slowly walked over to me.
“What are you doing here?” I blurted out.
He laughed and smiled, God did I miss that laugh and smile.
“You look more beautiful than I ever remember. I thought we could start over.” He smirked.
I cocked my head to the side and couldn’t help noticing that his ring finger was bare and there was no tan line, it had been off, and it had been off for a while.
He extended out his right hand, “My name’s Sebastian Vanwell.” He nodded smiling.
I grinned, “Ysabelle Telle,” I replied shaking his hand, “my friends call me, Ysa”.
We stood there for a long time taking each other in, remembering what it was that we did to each other. The chemistry, passion, the connection; all still were very alive around us. Even though there were tons of people everywhere, it was only him and I.
And thus begins my love story…
The End…or is it the beginning?