“Like what?”
“Selling yourself short.” I stammered and she immediately raised her eyebrows.
“What do you think I’m doing now, Sebastian?”
“It doesn’t seem that way with us.”
“Really? How does it seem?”
“It just seems different. I would never hurt you. I wouldn’t use you.”
“And you believe that’s what they are doing? Using me?”
“I can’t see it any other way, other than them using you. You’re beautiful, you could be doing so much more with your life than this.”
“Is this where you say you’re going to save me, Sebastian? Is that why you keep requesting my presence, because you’re going to magically make me become something I’m not. How are you so sure that I’m not the one that’s using them? You don’t even know me. Just because we’ve had a few conversations, doesn’t make you an expert on who I am and what I want.” I was offending her; I was fucking this whole thing up. She was a second away from throwing her drink in my face.
“Listen…I understand that everyone makes life choices. My intention here wasn’t to offend you. I just think that you have much more potential than you are currently providing.” I offered.
“And what makes you think that I’m not already reaching that potential? I’m really good at what I do, Sebastian. Maybe you’d like to try…” She teased and placed her hand on my thigh. I sought out her hand and placed mine on top.
“Let’s start over alright? I didn’t call you here to discuss your life choices. A very dear friend of mine would have been another year older today. I sought you out for my own comfort, like you being here with me would make this day easier to bare.”
“Is that the woman I remind you of?”
“Mmm hmm…you look so much like her. I can’t believe it. Your personalities are as different as night and day,” I said laughing. “Your physical appearance is damn near identical.”
“You said she would have…does this mean she is no longer here?”
“No, she isn’t.”
“I’m sorry, Sebastian.” She whispered as she squeezed my hand in support.
We continued our conversation for another two hours. Although, the evening had started off rocky our banter flowed easily. I couldn’t believe how easy she was to talk to.
We didn’t get any more personal, just small talk, my business, the new restaurant downtown, the new clubs that were opening, and of course Christian. She seemed genuinely enthralled in my silly little stories about my son.
We had drunk almost the entire bottle of Chardonnay and I’m sure that had a lot to do with our laughter and conversation.
I was telling her about Christian and his dog, how he had dressed him up as a robber one afternoon, in order to play cops and robbers. How he often tried to play hide and seek with him and he would sit until he heard Christian say ready and he would start running. We both laughed really hard at that one.
“I’m not sure which one loves the other more. If that boy is home, you can bet his dog isn’t far behind,” I smiled, looking over at her. She was looking at me with a look that I couldn’t quite read.
There was emotion behind her eyes. It was the first time I had sincerely saw her guard come down. I knew the wine had something to do with it and I didn’t care. It felt amazing to be able to be part of the reason that she let it come down. Even if it was just for a moment, I got to see it.
Her head leaned to the side to lay on my arm. I pulled her hair out of her face to see her eyes. They did it to me every time. My hand caressed the side of her cheek and I fucking knew I was sending the wrong message, Goddamn it, I couldn’t help myself. Her face moved and her soft lips caught my fingers. She lightly kissed each and every finger.
“You have the most amazing lips Ysa, do you know that?” I whispered.
I grabbed the back of her neck and brought her over to me, she came effortlessly.
I can’t explain that kiss, or why I even initiated it. I was being pulled; she was literally pulling me towards her. Her lips were just as I remembered, if not even fucking better. I sought out her tongue before she had the opportunity to, she moaned in my mouth, and twisted on the sofa to straddle my lap.
Both my hands found the sides of her face and her hands found my hair. She pulled at my hair like she had wanted to do it since the first night she had met me. She started circling her hips on my cock and I could sense she was aroused. My hands left her face and moved down her body. Fuck if she didn’t feel unbelievable. Her dress had hiked up and her thighs were exposed, her skin was soft and silky-smooth.
I needed to stop…
I wanted to stop…
That’s a fucking lie…
I wanted nothing more than to keep going. I wanted to be with her. I didn’t care about the repercussions. I lived in that moment. I let it take over me.
I reached for the hem of her dress and lifted it up. She pulled away from me allowing me to take it off her and toss it on the ground. Our lips went back to devouring each other.
Y
Jesus Christ…what the hell was I doing? This man didn’t belong here, he had a wife and a son that he fucking adored and even I could see that. I had been with married men before; this man was no different, except I couldn’t forget how we just spent the last two hours discussing his life.
I had never been this fucking confused in all of my life. I hated the fact that this man was doing something to me, he was making me feel, think, and hope…I don’t even know what it was I was hoping for, however it was there.
I didn’t do emotions and up until these last few weeks, I didn’t even know if I was capable of them. I had no clue where the fuck they were even coming from, just that they were there. It was as if he was pulling a piece within my heart, that I didn’t know was possible. I didn’t even know it existed.
I couldn’t feel, I never wanted to. I needed to get back on balance, somewhere along the way I fucking lost control of myself, and it had to stop.
God damn did he feel good.
His lips, his tongue, and his hands.
He was soft but demanding, controlling but passionate, and fucking intense.
“Sebastian,” I erratically breathed, confusing breaths to his lips.
“What Baby?” he replied with the same sensual words. Damn it. Why did he just have to say it like that? Why did I even care? Men call me baby…that’s what they say.
“I want you.” I managed to speak. My thoughts, my words, they all seem to be entwining with one another. I was never at a loss of words; this is what I was good at, playing the fucking part. Why did I not know how to react to this man?
“I want you, too. I want you more than I have ever wanted any other woman in my life. You consume me.” He confessed. I consume him? Fuck, if he didn’t confuse me even more.
I tugged at the hem of his shirt and he helped me slide it over his head. My eyes left his and I took his glorious body in while his eyes examined my own body. He stared intently as if I was everything. I wish I could describe the intensity that I found myself in only I know I couldn’t even do it justice. I couldn’t even put it into words if I wanted to, it wasn’t possible.
Whatever was going on between us had overpowered me. I had let it take control. For the first time in my life, I let myself feel, and fuck me…I didn’t want it to stop. I threw caution to the wind and just let it happen.
I unsnapped my bra, letting the strap fall to expose my breasts to him.
“Touch me, Sebastian,” I whimpered.
I grabbed his warm hands and he cupped my breasts then bringing his lips to my nipple, sucking and teasing as my head fell back in a satisfying moan. I rode into his erection and he brought one finger to the silk between my legs. I was sure he could feel the wetness through the thin material.
I unbuttoned his jeans, releasing his hardness in my hand, he was big and thick. His eyes once again met mine as I stroked him. He slid my panties to the side and r
an his fingers through my wetness. I moaned, a satisfying moan that was also foreign. It wasn’t my normal fuck me moan, it was a moan of desperation, of desire, and need.
I slid him inside of me, allowing that unfamiliar moan to take over again. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t just fuck him and not feel everything that was happening. He grabbed the sides of my face and brought my lips back to him, he wanted to keep kissing me. He wanted intimacy.
The men I was usually with, weren’t like this. I felt as if I was a puppet and he was pulling the strings. He grabbed ahold of my hips and rocked me back and forth on his cock, faster and faster. I could hear him groaning and breathing erratically. He kept looking in my eyes, all over my face.
Not once did he look down to watch me fuck his dick, and that’s what men did they loved to watch the act. They thrived on watching, though Sebastian didn’t; he wanted to see me. I couldn’t take it anymore and leaned in to kiss him. I needed the distraction, our tongues entwined as we both moaned.
S
I reached for the hem of her dress and lifted it up. She pulled away from me allowing me to take it off her and toss it on the floor. Our lips went back to devouring each other.
“Sebastian,” God it was the sexiest thing I had ever heard.
“What, Baby?” I replied, my own voice screaming desperation.
“I want you.” She breathed out between kissing me.
“I want you, too. I want you more than I have ever wanted any other woman in my life. You consume me.” I coaxed. I didn’t know why I said that, it was what I was feeling in that moment. She deserved to know that this wasn’t just a fuck for me. I wasn’t like every other man she had been with. I wanted her to feel different with me; I wanted this to be distinctive.
I knew what I was doing was so wrong, but damn did it fucking feel so right.
She reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled it off me. Her eyes took me in and mine did hers. She was wearing a white matching bra and panty set, and fuck if she didn’t look like a Goddess. Her skin was tan yet I could still see that it was rosy red from arousal; her lips were even plumper, and her eyes were glazed over.
She reached for the back of her bra and one strap fell and then the other. She tossed it to the side and grabbed my hands to her breasts.
“Touch me.” She goaded.
I fondled her breasts and brought my mouth to her nipple. Her head fell back as she shamelessly circled my cock even more. My fingers found her clit through her panties and she was soaking wet.
She unbuckled my pants and brought out my hard cock. I watched as she stroked it up and down. She was a vixen, she was confident, she knew what she was doing and how to do it, and it just enticed me even more.
I felt her wetness through her panties and she moaned even louder. I slipped them to the side and touched her folds, all wet and soft.
She slid down my shaft like I was made for her.
She was fucking tight, warm, and felt like heaven.
Our mouths found each other again, nipping, sucking, and overwhelming one another.
She rode my cock slow at first getting used to me. After a few minutes, her movements became faster and more urgent. She swayed her hips forward, then backward, up and then down. I grabbed ahold of her hips and looked deep into her eyes. Her eyes said everything to me. She held all her secrets and truths through those eyes.
I wanted to know everything. She met my gaze until she couldn’t anymore and brought her lips back to mine. We moaned in each other’s mouths. I wanted to see her again. I wanted to watch her come undone.
“You like that, Angel? That feel good? Huh? Tell me, Baby, tell me it feels good.” I huskily urged.
“Yes…Sebastian. You feel fucking amazing. God, you feel fucking huge. Your cock is hitting right against my g-spot. I’m going to come.”
She rode me harder and faster until I bit her bottom lip and felt her legs quiver and her pussy pulsated all the way down my shaft. It felt warm and wet and I wasn’t far behind her with my own release.
We both panted into each other’s mouths.
I knew then and there that this one time was never going to be enough for me.
The car ride home was pure fucking torture. I was grateful that Julia had been out of town for the night and that Christian was with my mother, because I couldn’t face either of them. I got caught up in the moment, I swear I wished I could blame the wine for my actions, I couldn’t.
I had wanted to be with Ysabelle. As fucked up as it was I craved her. I couldn’t blame anyone for my actions and decisions except for myself. I was a selfish son of a bitch. I couldn’t say no to her and it’s not even like she had initiated it, I had.
I threw away all the trust and respect for my marriage in a matter of seconds. The impulses of my decisions were jaded. I had no idea what fucking consequences were going to happen because of this.
Would I be able to look at Julia the same way ever again? Could she tell I had been unfaithful to her? I betrayed my marriage, my wife, and my son. I said fuck it to my vows. I didn’t want to be this man. Julia didn’t deserve this man.
I drove around for hours that night. I couldn’t face going home. I wish I was man enough to tell Julia what I had just done, I wasn’t. I didn’t want to lose her and I knew I would.
The real fucked up part was that I didn’t want to lose Ysabelle either. I had known this woman for less than two months and I couldn’t imagine not seeing her again. I never thought I would be capable of lying. When we were kids, Julia and I were never together. I didn’t ever feel guilt over what Olivia and I were doing.
The God’s honest truth is I didn’t feel guilt over being with Ysabelle, there was no remorse, and it made me feel more like an asshole. I felt saddened and upset to hurt Julia, that’s what I felt. It was the familiar feeling of how I felt when I was with Olivia. I wanted to regret being with Ysabelle it just wasn’t fucking there. And that’s why I couldn’t go home. The truth was eating me alive.
*S*
Three weeks had passed and life had returned to normalcy in some ways. I hadn’t seen or spoken to Ysabelle since that night. My family life hadn’t seen any speed bumps; I learned that I was a good liar.
I was due to deliver a yacht to a returning client in the Virgin Islands. Julia was trying to get away from work to have a romantic getaway, the dates didn’t match and I was bon voyage by myself.
My fingers had been tapping on my desk for the last thirty minutes and I swear I was trying to ignore the thoughts that were occurring in my head. I had been thinking about since the second I found out that I would be going away for a few days.
I tried to continue on. My impulses won out and I found myself dialing Madam’s number.
“Madam Residence.” Said the same familiar voice I had heard twice before.
“Yes, Madam please, this is Sebastian Vanwell.”
“Please hold.” It took all about ten seconds for her to answer the phone, I know because I counted.
“Sebastian Darling, what a nice surprise. How are you?”
“I’m great, thanks for asking. How about yourself?”
“Lovely, I’m actually having lunch with our beautiful Ysabelle as we speak.”
Fuck, “Oh…really. Um…let me…” I hesitated.
“Don’t be silly. I always have time for you. Now what can I help you with?”
“Right…it’s just I umm…have this thing.” I stuttered.
“Sebastian, relax. Ysabelle is absolutely glowing right now. Seems like you have made an impression on my girl, Mr. Vanwell.” She stated, making me uncomfortable by addressing her as property.
“She’s made quite an impression on me. That’s why I’m calling. You see…I have this yacht delivery I have to make to the Virgin Islands and I wanted the company of Ysabelle for the duration of that time.”
“Hmm…that sounds like quite a trip. I’m assuming you’re trying to mix a little business with pleasure, seeing as you haven’t thus far
?”
“Wait…what?” Did Ysabelle not tell her? I hadn’t even checked my bank statement to see how much was withdrawn. It had totally slipped my mind.
“Please, Darling, I know you enjoy your little chats with my Ysabelle, I’m to assume that this will include more than companionship?” Wow…she hadn’t told her. What the fuck did that even mean? This definitely threw me for a loop.
“Umm…you are assuming correctly. I mean-“
“Sebastian, I am in the business of making people happy. Let me remind you that I’m not here to judge. My Ysabelle was made for you. I know what effect she has on men, you’re not the first and you won’t be the last.” She subtly implied, if I told this woman to go fuck herself I knew I wouldn’t be able to see Ysabelle. I had to play nice, it definitely bothered me that she used her. I couldn’t understand how Ysabelle didn’t see that.
“Mmm hmm.” Was all I could reply.
“When is this little rendezvous scheduled for?”
“A week from Thursday, we will set sail at 9 a.m. and should be getting back Sunday evening. I will provide the air fare for the return.”
“It just so happens that Ysabelle is free for those dates. You know that the expenses will change?”
“I’m aware. How much?” Now that felt like a punch to the stomach. I hated knowing that I was paying for this, she deserved so much more than this fucking life.
“Well, Love, this is quite a trip. It’s going to be costly I would say somewhere around $80,000. That includes you putting it anywhere, do you understand?”
“Madam!” I heard Ysabelle shout from afar.
“Excuse me, Sebastian.” She said putting me on hold so that I couldn’t hear the conversation. I was on hold for a while, I was about to hang up and call back when I heard the line click over.
“Well Darling…it seems as though Ysabelle is feeling generous today. She will do it for $40,000.” She stated through gritted teeth.
“Done.” I quickly replied, the truth was I would have paid eighty.