I unlock my door and rush inside. “About what?” I set my bag on the kitchen counter and he shuts the front door.
“About us,” he murmurs.
The breath hitches in my lungs and I slowly turn to face him. “What do you mean?”
His expression on his face is genuine, but I’ve been duped by him before. “I mean, I miss you. I want you to give us another chance.”
I don’t know what comes over me, but I laugh. “Seriously? It didn’t work out the first time. Why would it a second time?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe because I lost my way. You loved me before and I know you can again.”
Shaking my head, I close the distance between us. I did love him once upon a time ago. We shared a lot of good memories, but that’s it. I don’t love him anymore… I love someone else. Deep down, I think I’ve always loved Jude.
“I’m sorry, Shawn,” I whisper regretfully. “I don’t want to go back to my old life. I like the way things are now. I’m happy.”
His brows furrow. “You can’t be happy with me?”
And just as I’m about to answer, my front door opens and Jude walks in. The second he sees me standing close to Shawn, the room turns icy. He glares at Shawn but then I can see the uncertainty in those gray eyes of his.
“Jude Daniels? Is that you?” Shawn asks, his voice condescending.
Jude narrows his gaze. “Shawn.”
Chuckling, Shawn glances back and forth at us both. “Well, damn, Jude you look different now. I bet the ladies go crazy over that lumberjack look.”
Jude snorts. “It’s much better than the douchebag look.” He turns to me and his jaw clenches. “I’ll see you in class.”
He walks away and I rush after him. “Jude, wait!” By the time I get out the door, he’s already down the steps and storming toward his Jeep. “Jude,” I shout again.
Shawn comes up beside me and we both watch Jude speed out of the parking lot. “Something going on between you two?”
I roll my eyes. “That’s none of your business. I never should’ve stopped being friends with him because of you.”
“There’s not a man alive who’d feel comfortable having their wife be friends with a man who was in love with them.” I understand that, but Jude and I had history. I’ll always regret tossing him to the side the way I did. “You have feelings for him, don’t you?”
I turn to him and look right into his eyes. “I’m sorry, Shawn. It’s not going to work for us again. You should probably go.”
He looks off into the distance and sighs. “I’ll go, but I still have hope for us.” Turning on his heel, he heads toward the stairs and leaves. I grab my phone out of my pocket and call Jude. Of course, he doesn’t answer.8JudeShe’s too good to be true.
I knew this and should’ve known better than to think someone like me stood a chance with Laura. She hurt me once before because of Shawn and now she’s done it again.
“I’m a damn fool.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t understand.” I stare at my radio and flip off the console. Maybe it’s a good thing Siri doesn’t understand why I’m a fool. If she did, she’d probably laugh and agree with me.
The drive from Laura’s is too quick, much like my relationship with her. Ouch, that stung. I need more time to figure out my thoughts and being on campus isn’t the best place to do this. It really sucks sometimes when you have to be an adult when all you really want to do is go to the bar and get so drunk you forget the last week.
Instead of going to class, I head to my office. There is no way I can safely teach people today, not without letting my emotions take over. I send an email to my first couple of classes, canceling today’s lecture and because I’m pissed off, I give them a massive assignment due by midnight tomorrow night. It’s shitty of me to do, but right now I don’t care. If anyone has a problem, I’ll happily give them Laura’s email and they can tell her how they feel about my sunny disposition and thank her for it.
After the email is sent, I turn my computer off, go to my door, lock it and pull the shade down. My office is small but it’s the one place I have that Laura hasn’t been in so it’s the safest place for me. As much as I want to go home, I can’t. Laura’s perfume lingers in my car and there’s no doubt she’s all over my cabin. Especially in my bedroom, which means I’m going to sleep in the guest bedroom until I can convince my mom to come clean for me. I won’t even have to beg her, which will be nice.