Wasn’t that worth something?
The fact I hadn’t let my panic attack whisk me away to an imaginary castle?
I’d stayed.
For him.
I was willing to change. To grow. To deal with my issues.
So what the hell is going on?
Above me, Elder groaned, reminding me all over again of his vicious rutting and blind rage to finish. When I’d kissed him, something had connected us. When I’d placed him inside me and sank down until the tip of him pressed against deep, dark places, I’d felt as if I’d found someone I could rely on.
Yet once we were joined in a way I would forever battle just a little, that slow burn turned to wild-fire as mutual affection became heavily one-sided.
Physically, he’d overthrown me, smothering me with his lust. Emotionally, he’d vanished. His eyes turned empty. His face vacant. There was no more heart joining and mind fusing.
Just unemotional fucking.
He’d used me.
And I couldn’t quite believe it had happened.
I didn’t care that I should’ve seen this coming. That I was stupid to think it could be any different. I’d felt Elder. I’d believed in what my instincts told me. That he wanted me deeper than just lust. That there was something rich and raw and worthy of taking a risk.
So what had happened?
And how could it be fixed?
Wearily, as if he’d just returned from battle and still saw blood and carnage instead of a luxury suite and me, Elder disengaged and removed himself without apology.
With a heavy sigh, he collapsed onto his back, his wrists crossed and tangled with rope above his head. His hands were white from lack of blood, but he didn’t seem to notice or care.
His handsome face turned waxy with things that terrified me.
I sat up, hugging my knees to my chest.
He didn’t look at me, just stared at the ceiling, his neck working as he swallowed, fighting thoughts he wouldn’t share.
The golden glow of the lamps painted him in reflections and interrogations. Somehow, even after what’d just happened, I still found him otherworldly in his perfection. He was a broken prince. The knight who didn’t fight the dragons but pencilled them on himself, borrowing their power to fight the darkness within. The flames from the chimerical beasts might help ward off what he most feared.
He cleared his throat, making me jump.
His lips twisted with a bitterness that hurt my heart. “Untie me, Pimlico. Immediately.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
______________________________
Elder
IT WAS OVER.
It was done.
I had a split second of blissful mental silence before everything I’d been running from found me. The noise, the chatter, the obsession to fix and collaborate and order. I yanked at the rope around my wrists. “Pim. Now!”
Her body tightened into a smaller ball as if she could pretend we were the same as before. She rubbed her nose with the back of her hand. Her eyes strained and stark.
She didn’t move.
My imprisonment drove me crazy. My cock already switched from minor relief to stoney need. I wanted to be free to take her again. There were many hours in the night, and I wouldn’t waste them by not being inside her.
Jerking my arms, I snarled, “Pim! Untie me. Instantly.”
My yell finally knocked on the shut door of her mind, making her flinch. Quickly, she unfolded from her ball and reached over my head to fumble with the knots.
Her breasts swung over my face. An invitation. An offering.
I couldn’t stop myself.
My mouth opened and I sucked on her nipple hard. So fucking hard.
She cried out.
Her spine bowing, her belly clenching, her moans undoing the last figment of my control. My hips rocked with need, desperate to start again.
My heart skipped a beat then two, tattered and torn with adrenaline.
Get it together.
Fight it.
Sucking her nipple, I groaned at how weak I was. If I was free and not strung up like a dog, I would’ve been back inside her and chasing my second release by now.
It was a good thing she struggled with the knots I’d pulled far too tight in my rush to fuck her. It gave me a few seconds’ reprieve where my rationality could tiptoe in front of my feral desires and slap some sense into me.
You need to leave.
Right now.
Tearing my mouth away from her breast, I growled. “Now, Pim. Let me go. Now!”
I had to get away.
Fast.
If I could run while sane, I had a chance.
The rope tightened and then loosened as Pim finally undid the left wrist then my right.
The moment I could move, I shoved her away from me and threw myself off the bed. I stumbled to one knee in my rush to run, the rope still tethered to one wrist by a loop.
I didn’t care it trailed after me. I didn’t care I wobbled on legs compounding with pain to return to her.
I half-ran, half-tripped to the bathroom.
I didn’t stop to make sure she was okay. I didn’t look back. I careened into the marble tiled haven and slammed the door before locking it and wedging the plush chair by the bath beneath the handle.