Bandages around his chest and over his shoulder blocked me from staring at his nakedness, but it didn’t stop the tail of his dragon and the tip of its snout peeking from the sides.
Tears sprang to my eyes to see him so decorated in pain. I pressed a kiss to his bandaged shoulder. “I hate seeing you like this.”
He swallowed a black chuckle. “Imagine what it was like for me when we first met and you were worse than this.” His good hand captured my chin, his thumb shaking a little as he ran it over my cheek. “It gutted me every time you were naked. Seeing how beautiful you were beneath all those marks and punishments. I wanted to fucking kill him all over again for what he’d done to you.” His voice wavered with loathing. “How skinny you were. How beaten. He’d tried so hard to break you but never could.”
I had no reply because now I understood yet another layer of what he’d embraced by saving me. He’d come from a world where he didn’t need reminders that pain and suffering existed to living with a very clear example.
He’d fallen for a woman who preferred nakedness to clothing, providing the constant reminder of what’d happened to her outside his control.
God, I was so selfish.
Leaning forward, I brushed my lips over his, my hands falling to his boxer-briefs. “I’m sorry, El. For making you see me that way when it was so hard for you.”
“What the hell are you apologising for?” His nostrils flared. “Seeing you that way made me grow the fuck up and remember I had a heart, after all. You helped me remember how to care for another without fear.”
My fingers inched around the elastic holding his underwear in place—the only thing the doctor had left on after his examination.
Elder stopped breathing as I gently tugged them down. As my hands undressed him, I leaned closer and pressed my lips once again to his.
His mouth parted, willingly letting me orchestrate this connection, content to follow my direction even though energy hummed and burned hotter and hotter with every heartbeat.
My attentions could be taken as sexual, but they came from a nurturing place deep inside.
I needed to take care of this man.
I needed it more than I could stand.
Breaking the kiss, I shimmied down his body, intending to pull his underwear off.
His stomach clenched, eyes hot and wild.
“Let me…” I implored, tugging a little for his cooperation.
Slowly, he raised his hips just enough for me remove his boxers.
His decency went from covered to revealed, his cock swiftly thickening as I paid attention to his broken body. Ignoring the lust building in every avenue, pathway, and neuron, I tossed his boxers to the floor.
Breath vanished from my lungs as I fully took him in. Even wounded, Elder was a magnificent man.
Time ticked onward as we both stared. He bit his bottom lip as he devoured every inch of my t-shirt and jean clad body. “Something isn’t fair in this scenario. You should be naked, too.”
I dropped my gaze. “If I was naked, my idea of taking care of you wouldn’t work.”
“You could take care of me in other ways.” The invitation should’ve been light-hearted, but it came out heavy and heated and just as hard as the cock between his legs.
It took every willpower, but I clutched my wash-cloth and shook my head. Scrambling off the bed, needing some distance, I dipped the towel into the warm water again.
Elder never looked away as I soaked it, lathered some soap until sweet honeysuckle surrounded us, then wrung out the excess.
I’d repeated what I’d done because I couldn’t get my body under control to trust myself around him. My insides echoed to be filled. My mouth watered to be kissed. My skin bruised to be touched.
But this wasn’t about him taking me tonight. This was about me thanking him for everything he’d given me.
I need to remember that and get on with it.
Taking another deep breath, I climbed onto the bed and poised on my knees. I couldn’t magic away his injuries, but I could tend to him. I could make sure he was clean from his battle and relaxed from his fight. I could lavish him with affection and appreciation for everything he was and had become.
And then, I would let him sleep.
“I want to wash you. Do you give me permission?”
His face etched with torture. “You want to wash me?”
I nodded.
Would he see this for what it was or think I enjoyed him in this position of weakness? Had I honoured or emasculated him?
I opened my mouth to give some sort of explanation, but he strangled. “You want to touch me. Everywhere?”
I nodded again. “If you’ll let me.”
“Fuck,” he cursed at the ceiling. “Of course, I want you to. I’d let you do anything you wanted, Pim. But that…goddammit, knowing you want to serve me that way?” His eyes glittered raven. “It makes me want to bow to you and corrupt you in equal measure.”