My mind swirls, trying to picture an older version of me, some stranger that apparently gave me life. I hope when the time comes that when I have a baby, I’ll be a lot stronger than she was. Dad thinks she’s strong for being able to admit that, but I can’t find it within myself to agree.
She pushed me aside. She didn’t even give me a chance.
Strong is taking on the challenge and rising up, being the best parent you can be. Struggle through the hard times and love through the good. Nowhere in the strong handbook does it say cop out and give away your flesh and blood to some unexpecting guy that you met once, probably in a shady bar.
What the hell does that say about me? I’m the result of a one night stand.
I look up at dad with an urge to know more about this woman, a need to know where she came from, what she’s like, and if I share any of her qualities other than just her looks. I guess I need to know what kind of person I have the potential to become. “Do you know her last name or where she is?”
Dad’s lips thing into a hard line. “You don’t want to go looking for her, do you?”
“Why not?”
“She gave you up, Squish,” he says softly. “She’s not magically going to want to have some sort of relationship with you. I haven’t moved in eighteen years. She knows where to find you and has never come looking.”
I shake my head. “It’s not that,” I tell him, struggling to find a way to describe what’s going through my head. “I just want to know what she’s like. You know, figure out what I’ve missed out on.”
Dad considers me for a moment. “Are you sure?” he questions. “I don’t want you getting your hopes up over this woman.”
“I’m sure, Dad. I just want to know who she is.”
“Ok,” he says, letting out a sigh. “Her last name is Rivers. Gina Rivers.”
“Rivers?” I grunt.
The front door of our home slams open and both dad and I jump to our feet. Who the fuck was that? “Aria?” Dad yells before darting for my bedroom door, assuming she’s just escaped.
He’s stopped in the doorway by Noah who all but barges through, forcing Dad back in as he gapes at me. “Why the fuck aren’t you answering your phone?” Noah demands.
“What?” I grunt. “I have more important things going on right now.”
“What the hell is going on?” Dad questions, not pleased about the intrusion into our home.
Noah cringes at Dad before turning his attention on me. “There’s a video of you and it just got sent through the whole fucking school.”
“What?” I say slowly, confused about what he’s talking about.
Dad’s eyes practically bulge out of his head. “What fucking video?” he roars. “If you made a fucking sex tape, Henley. So help me God.”
“No,” Noah rushes out, hopefully to throw a little light on the situation. “It’s a video of when she got hurt,” he says with a cringe. “The first time with Monica and Candice. When you were jumped.”
“What?” I shriek, not giving a shit that I haven’t been able to come up with any other words to convey what’s going on in my head. I all but dive across my bed, grabbing my phone off the bedside table and ripping it off the charger.
I’d put it on silent last night and clearly, that was a mistake.
The screen lights up to at least fifty messages, all from kids at school. I search through them and scroll straight past the missed calls and urgent texts from Noah until I find the original message that comes with the video attachment.
I open the video as dad watches over my shoulder.
The video starts and the first thing I see is Monica’s back before my voice comes shooting out of the speaker on my phone as a broken cry for help. “No, no, no, no, no,” I say, repeating myself over and over again as the last piece of dignity I held onto escapes me. Noah had said this was sent through the whole school so literally everyone I know has witnessed my weakest moment.
“Who sent this out?” I beg, desperate for answers.
Noah shakes his head, not wanting to give me the information that’s on the end of his tongue, but the answer is crystal clear. “I’ll give you one guess.”
“Monica,” I sigh, looking down at the girl in the video, pummeling her fists into my body over and over again.
I should have known. Monica gets her kicks by keeping dirt on her victims. I literally just took her down for this shit. I found every last piece of dirt she was hiding and destroyed it. How could I have been so stupid to assume she wouldn’t have something on me?