My Better Life - Page 101

Oh. Ohhh. My fantasy. Our first time.

“Except, that never really happened, did it? Considering we never had sex.”

A hot, reactive pulse hits me, when he says the word sex. Apparently, my body didn’t get the memo that Gavin and I aren’t together.

I push to my feet and wipe my hands on my overalls. All night, I thought about what I should’ve said, or what I could’ve said to convince Gavin to stay. I created a thousand different scenarios. I even replayed the day I told him the truth, but tried harder to convince him. But after all that night-time imagining, I can’t make any of those should’ve saids or could’ve saids make it past my lips. Because now, with the real Gavin in front of me, I see what I didn’t in my mind. And that’s the look on his face. The look that tells me that when Gavin remembers who he is, he also remembers that he’d never ever love anyone like me.

“I was just cleaning up, I can le—”

“Fine. Take your things and go.”

His voice is hard and I flinch and turn my face away from his cold gaze, gathering the broom, dustpan, and bucket.

Then I stand and walk with my head down toward the front door, the glass clinking in the bucket. As I near him, I pause, then swallow down the hard beating in my heart.

“I just wanted to say one thing.”

He frowns, staring hard at, I think, the freckles on my cheeks. “What?”

I grip the bucket handle in my hand, holding the cold metal for support.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

He doesn’t say anything, so I look up from the ground. His eyes are confused, he searches my features. “For what?”

I shake my head. For letting me love you, I want to say. But that’s not quite right. For being an incredible person, but that’s not quite right either. For loving the kids, for helping me chase my dream, for making me feel loved, for all that and more.

“Just…thank you.” I give him a tight smile and move to walk around him, to the front door. The only darn door in this behemoth of a cabin.

As I walk past, Gavin reaches out and grabs my wrist. I suck in a sharp breath. Him touching me, it still feels like sinking into a burning hot flame. My blood starts to sing and I sway toward him.

I lick my lips. My mouth is dry and hot. “What is it?”

He stares at my tongue tracing over my lips. “I wanted to see if I still felt it.”

My stomach twists and I ask, “Do you?”

He looks at his hand cuffing my wrist, his calloused fingers rough on my skin. Instead of answering, he asks, “Why didn’t you ever let me make love to you?”

I shake my head. “It wouldn’t have been right. You didn’t know. Plus, if…when you remembered, I didn’t want you to hate me.”

He gives a sardonic smile and lifts his eyebrows. “Maybe I would’ve hated you less.”

“I don’t think so.” I look down at his hand on my arm. “You should let me go.”

He makes an amused noise, like he’s remembering the first time we were here, when I stomped on his foot for not letting me go.

I frown at him. “Why are you here?”

He should be back to wherever he came from, back with his brother, or his other family.

Gavin narrows his eyes. “I forgot my wallet and license on the kitchen counter. And as I’m sure you know, having identification can come in handy.”

“Oh.” Suddenly, I realize my subconscious was somehow hoping that he’d come back for us. For me.

He nods, like he heard my hope crashing and sort of liked the sound of it breaking.

“Jamie?”

Tags: Sarah Ready Romance
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