I bought one on my way out. I didn’t have time to do it now. I was already running late for work. I got to work five minutes late and of course, ran into Karen in the locker area. My luck had just been great lately.
“Good morning, Victoria,” she said, glancing at the clock.
“Good morning, Karen. I’m so sorry for being late. The traffic was bad today.” I stuffed my big purse with the test in it in the locker and closed it. I turned and she was smiling at me.
“Please, Victoria. If all of the staff were as conscientious as you, my job would be a breeze. I think all the time you get here early and stay over late can make up for five minutes.”
“Thank you,” I said, smiling back.
“Are you okay though, hon? You look a little peaked today.”
“I’m fine,” I told her. “I was a touch under the weather over the weekend, but much better today.” I was still fighting the waves of nausea that hit every five minutes or so but I wasn’t going to tell her that.
“Okay, well you have a good day. But Vicki if you start feeling poorly again, let me know, alright?”
“I will Karen, thank you.” I went through the kitchen and said good morning to Gregory and while I was talking to him, I saw Karen come out. “Oh darn, I forgot to get some towels for my cart.” I went back in and got the towels and the test out of my purse. I put it under the towels and made my way back through the kitchen and into the storage area to get my cart.
When I got upstairs, Alex was just emerging from his suite. He again looked incredible. He smiled at me and the dimples creased and my heart raced, as usual. “Good morning, Vicki. How are you today?”
“I’m good. How are you, sir?”
“Rushed, as usual,” he said, still smiling. “It would be nice to have a minute to breathe.”
“You should take one sir, before your life passes you by,” I said. It was something I’d say to anyone, but not something I’d normally say to my employer. He didn’t seem offended though. Instead, he had a kind of wistful expression on his face.
“I’ll keep that in mind, Vicki. You have a great day.”
“You too, sir.” I turned back to my cart and busied myself until I heard the elevator doors close. Once he was gone, I fished the test out from between the towels and took it into his bathroom. I’d never used a bathroom in the house besides the staff one before, but I couldn’t risk getting caught. I closed the door, quickly read the instructions on the test and did the deed. It was one of those instant ones, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at it right away. I sat it on a tissue on the counter and wiped and flushed and washed my hands before I looked. Dear God, it was positive. Oh damn! What the hell was I going to do now?
I wrapped the evidence all up in a towel and just as I opened the bathroom door, I heard the elevator open. Damn! I sat the towel back down on the counter and turned to pretend I was cleaning the sink. Alex walked back in the room. “Hi,” I said. “Did you forget something?”
“My phone,” he said, sounding frustrated. “There it is.” He scooped it up off the dresser and then looked around the room. “You know Vicki; it looks pretty good in here. Can I ask you to change your routine a bit and do me a favor today?”
My insides were shaking. I was pregnant… most likely with this man’s baby. “Sure,” I said, hoping my voice didn’t sound shaky as well. “What do you need, sir?”
“I’m having some friends over this weekend and I’d really like to entertain out by the pool. Could you clean the pool house really well for me and make sure there are fresh linens out there and soap, that sort of thing? Stock the refrigerator with water also.”
“Of course, I’ll do that right away.”
“Thank you so much. Have a good day.”
“You too, sir.” I followed him out of the room and rode down in the elevator with him. I was halfway finished cleaning the pool house when I remembered the test. Damn! I’d left it wrapped in the towel on his bathroom counter. I felt sick again. Oh God, I had to get that before he came back or someone else found it. I was about to leave the pool house and go do that when I saw Karen headed out towards me.
“Hey Victoria, I have to take off early today. When you finish out here can you make sure the plants are watered in the sunrooms?”
“Of course,” I told her.
“Thank you. How are you feeling?”
“I’m as good as new,” I lied. I still wanted to throw up. It wasn’t the morning sickness any longer; it was the stress of the situation.
“Great! I’ll see you tomorrow then.” I watched her go and then I headed for the house. As I got close to the kitchen door I heard Gregory talking to someone. I was horrified when I stepped inside and saw that it was Alex.
“Just lie flat on your back sir and make sure the room is completely dark. It’s the best way to get rid of a migraine,” Gregory said.
“Thanks, Gregory. I’ll try anything at this point.” I realized that Alex must have one of his migraines; at least every other month or so he got one that would keep him down for the entire day. I felt bad for him, but I felt worse for me. He was going to lie down in his room and I wouldn’t be able to get the test out of there. I watched him get on the elevator with the sick feeling in my stomach becoming more intense by the second. My head was spinning and I suddenly thought that I was going to either throw up or pass out right then and there.
“Victoria, are you okay?” I looked up and realized Gregory was looking at me. I nodded.
“Just a little under the weather,” I said. “I’ll be fine.” I went back to the pool house and finished my job there. Then I watered the plants in both sunrooms before I took a chance and rode the elevator up to the master suite. The door was closed and there was no light at all coming from under the door. Alex was asleep and I briefly wondered if I’d be able to sneak inside and get into the bathroom, get the test and sneak out before he woke up.
I let myself imagine the worst case scenario. He would wake up and find me in his bedroom while he was sleeping and he’d think because we’d had sex already I was a creepy stalker. I’d be fired and would be humiliated to boot. Not a fun scenario at all. I imagined leaving the test where it was. Alex would find it, ask about it and I would tell him that yes, my boyfriend and I are having a baby and apologize profusely for leaving it there, explaining that my mind was a little foggy in the mornings because of the hormones. I finally left for the day with scenario number two as the winner. Maybe I’d get lucky and he’d sleep through the night and not find it at all… just maybe.
When I got home Liz was in the living room, painting her toenails. I sat down next to her on the couch and just blurted it out, “I’m pregnant.”
put the polish down and held her arms open. I fell into them and with my head on her shoulder I cried. I don’t know how long we sat there like that, but when I finally pulled myself together I pulled myself up and said, “I’m sorry.”
She smiled. “I’m sorry for you, honey. I know you’re not ready for this. What are you going to do?”
“I’m not sure, Liz. I know for sure I could never have an abortion, so I suppose I’m having a baby, but beyond that, I just don’t know.”
“Don’t get mad…”
“I won’t. I’ve already considered that it could possibly be Alex’s baby. I won’t know for sure until I go to the doctor and find out how far along I am. God Liz, I’m such a mess.”
She put an arm around me and said, “You are not. Lots of pregnancies are mistakes. Mistakes happen and sometimes beautiful things are born from them. If you keep the baby, I have no doubt that you’ll be an incredible mother. If you decide to put it up for adoption, I’ll be here with you for it all, okay?”