“I’m not a kid.” Neera didn’t sound petulant. She sounded firm. So firm that Elodie raised her chin to peer up at her. It was kind of strange, realizing at that moment that she was more than a few inches taller than her mom.
“I’m not a kid,” she said again, with more force. “I will fight for this. For Scarlet. You can’t talk to her right now because you’re going to say things like that. Things you don’t mean. Let’s go home. If you want to rage, take it out on me. I can tell you though, that you’ll never set me right. You’ll never change my mind. And if this is a not under my roof thing then I’ll find a place to live that isn’t at your house. I’m not giving up either of you. I’m not ruining your friendship. This is a path that we can all take together. It might look different and be all shadowy and full of menacing trees and bushes, but in the light of day, they’re just bushes and they’re just trees, and it’s a perfectly nice path that we could all get used to walking.”
Elodie wrenched her arm free before Neera could stop her, with such force that she was stunned for a few seconds. A few seconds was all it took for Elodie to reach the door. She banged on it loudly, shouting out into the night, “You come out here you— you— you daughter- fucker, and you face me woman to woman!”
Chapter 14
Scarlet
She’d ran through the list of scenarios in her mind ever since she’d left Elodie’s house, but never in her worst imaginings and terrible ruminations did she think that Elodie would be outside screaming out the words ‘daughter’ and ‘fucker’ in the same sentence. Back-to-back. Daughter-fucker. It could be one word, if a person tried hard enough. Elodie was really trying.
What a terrible term.
What a horrible thing to be.
But it was true.
God, she really was a daughter-fucker.
“Scarlet, you come out here,” Elodie yelled, banging harder on the door. “I know where you live. I know where you work!”
Before things could get out of hand, Scarlet raced to the door. She didn’t want the whole block hearing their business and getting involved but answering the door and facing her best friend’s wrath was also the right thing to do. She was putting on her big girl panties and she was going to do what she had to do and that was going to be that, because she couldn’t take back what she’d done with Neera. She didn’t want to take it back.
She tugged open the door right as Elodie was about to pound on it again. She found her friend with her fist raised and her face a storm of wrath like she’d never seen it before.
“Daughter-fucker,” Elodie hissed. “You traitor! You backstabbing wench. We are no longer friends. This stops here. You aren’t welcome at my house. Don’t come around. Don’t you even think about getting in contact with Neera. You aren’t going to see her again. You aren’t going to mess with her head so that she thinks it’s her fault—”
“I don’t think it’s my fault. I don’t think it’s Scarlet’s fault either. It’s not anyone’s fault because there’s no blame to assign. No blame needs to be laid.” Neera stepped up behind her mom and crossed her arms. She wasn’t wearing a coat. Scarlet wanted to tell them both to come in before they froze or got sick, but she knew that Elodie wouldn’t step a foot inside in her current mood. Maybe not ever again.
“You see? You’ve messed with her head already. Filled it up with thoughts about this being right when it’s so, so, SO wrong.”
“It’s not wrong,” Neera interjected calmly. “Not one bit. And I already told you that Scarlet didn’t want anything to do with this. It was me. It was all me. I could have helped myself. Controlled myself. But honestly, I’d then go to my grave with all the regrets in the world. I could have met someone else and loved them halfway for the rest of my life, but how would that be fair? I came out to you when I was a teenager and you accepted that I was gay without any fuss. You told me you’d always love me no matter what, and being gay wasn’t anything that I had to be ashamed of or worried about. You supported me and you never looked at me differently. You loved me unconditionally. This is the same thing. I’m telling you now that if I hadn’t told Scarlet how I felt then I would have been living a half-life the same way I would have been living a half-life if I had never told you or anyone else that I was a lesbian.”
Elodie huffed. “Not the same thing at all, Neera. You’re practically a child. Scarlet’s twice your age.”
“I’m not a child. She’s not twice my age either. It’s only fifteen years.”
“Well, almost! That’s just semantics!” Elodie was breathing so hard that her head was covered in a cloud of white fog. It would have been kind of funny under any other circumstance, but Scarlet was in no mood to laugh.
“Semantics or not, it doesn’t change how I feel. I tried to change it. I tried to change myself. I tried going away. I tried loving someone else. I tried running. I even freaking tried therapy.” Neera nodded when Elodie made a wet noise in her throat. “Yeah. That’s right. Therapy. I went. For six months. It didn’t help. I thought I could stay away, but I couldn’t. I thought I could make a life with someone else, but I couldn’t do that either. And then I got back here, and Scarlet was single, and I just— I was so tried of lying and pretending and getting on with something that could never be got on with. So, this is who I am. If you don’t want to see Scarlet again, then that would be the saddest, worst decision you could ever make. She’s your best friend and this isn’t going to change that. She loves you, Mom. I know you love her. You just need some time. Which is why we shouldn’t be out here.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Elodie said, stubborn like she sometimes was.
Scarlet knew she should say something, but it felt like her lips were sealed up with glue. The kind you should not get on your skin under any circumstances. Half of her wanted to say that she got everything Elodie was saying, and she wasn’t wrong. She even fully supported her going into angry vengeance mode. The other half wanted to try to be rational like Neera was trying to be and talk Elodie down before things got too far gone and their friendship was irrevocably damaged.
She stayed silent, half because of the lump lodg
ed in her throat and her unworking tongue and lips, and half because she knew that anything she could say would be disregarded in the moment. This wasn’t her moment. This wasn’t her and Neera’s moment. This was Elodie’s moment, and she needed to have it, get it out and get it done.
“You aren’t unfriending Scarlet.” Despite Neera’s desire to stay calm, her nostrils flared slightly. “You’re not in the mood to say things that you actually mean right now, so we need to leave.” Neera tugged at her mom’s arm.
Elodie turned her face from her daughter and gave Scarlet a scathing glare that made her pulse ratchet up. “Neera isn’t moving out and you’re not coming near my house again. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t freaking ask me to go to the movies. Oh, and I want my leftovers back! You don’t deserve to eat my chicken.”
“Mom!” Neera was beyond horrified.
Scarlet didn’t know what to say. She leaned against the doorframe while she debated going and getting the container out of her fridge, but Neera, her cheeks pink with more than just the cold, grabbed Elodie’s elbow and turned her around. “Come on. Scarlet’s keeping the chicken, and you need to cool down. Let’s go.”
Scarlet thought Elodie might dig in and stand there, her mouth puckered, quietly trying to come up with something else to shoot out to quell the fires of rage inside. Scarlet had expected nothing less, but she’d hoped that Neera’s quiet confidence was well founded.