“That would be amazing.” It made Scarlet relieved to think about Neera not being so close, not being a constant source of temptation, and somehow irrationally sad as well. She’d never thought about them working together before. It obviously wasn’t just losing Neera as an extremely efficient, hard worker that made Scarlet’s eyes feel like they were on fire. “That’s great,” she whispered, then walked out from behind the counter. “I’m just going to close up.”
“I’ll help.”
“No, that’s okay. I-if you could just wait in my office, that would be— that would be great.”
Neera hedged, but then she gave in. “Okay. I’ll be back there.”
Scarlet was very well aware of that fact after Neera walked away and she started shutting down the register and batching out the debit machine, turning off the sign, and locking up. She eventually inhaled a sigh that was so big she felt overinflated, like her lungs could burst before she let it out and headed to the back, clutching the day’s cash and paperwork to slip into the small safe in her office.
She honestly wasn’t the kind of person who cried often, but as she walked into her office and saw Neera’s back, ramrod straight, as she sat in the chair in front of the big wood desk that took up most of the space, Scarlet felt her emotions riding so close to the surface that it was impossible to push them back
down to writhe through her like they had all day.
Scarlet bent and put in the code to her safe, then slipped everything inside, even though she usually was organized and entered everything into the accounting software on her computer daily before she left. That could obviously wait.
Neera had gone to her interview in black slacks and a white blouse. She looked every inch like the capable, professional woman that she was. She’d even worn a pair of black pumps, which she hardly ever sported. Scarlet let her gaze linger for a moment, soaking up Neera’s effortless beauty like the warmth of the sun before she realized what she was doing, tore her eyes away, and sat down in the chair behind her desk.
Scarlet opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She was so struck by Neera’s fresh-faced youth, and at the same time, the old kind of soulful vibe she often wore about her like an expensive perfume, that she couldn’t say anything at all.
Thankfully, Neera started. “I know that you’ve been convincing yourself all day that what happened last night was a mistake.”
“No.” Scarlet shook her head. She clasped her hands under the desk and inhaled deeply again until her lungs were painful in her chest. “No. Not a mistake. Just something that can’t happen again.”
“Because you think my mom would freak out.”
“Because it would be hurtful. Weighing the potential destruction of a meaningful friendship, the respect of my family, my reputation as a business owner, even, is a serious consideration. There’s also your feelings to consider.”
“You have feelings too,” Neera whispered. “Not just me. I know you’re probably used to numbing things out and just getting on with it because of Bryan, but you don’t have to do that anymore. What you think and feel matters.”
Scarlet tore her gaze away because Neera’s voice was too intimate, and she was scared to look at her. She was scared she might burst into tears at any moment because Neera was so perceptive.
“Wanting something physical is one thing. Being an adult and making responsible choices to minimize pain and damage is another.”
“What if it wasn’t pain and damage?”
“I thought about that too,” Scarlet admitted. “I did give it fair consideration. You’re too young, Neera.”
“I’m an adult. You only think that I’m too young because you knew me growing up.”
“I’m not just saying it for that reason alone. I wouldn’t go on a dating app and look for someone half my age to date. I wouldn’t go out anywhere, to any social setting, or to any function and try and pick someone out of a crowd who was as young as you. Not because I’m afraid of how it would look, but because when you get older, you need someone who is on the same page, at the same point in their lives.”
“No.” The word exploded out so forcefully that Scarlet had to wrench her eyes up from the desk’s surface. “I refuse to believe that. Okay, yes, everyone wants someone in their life who is a good person, a good match, who gets them, but I don’t think age has anything to do with that. I’m not someone on a dating app and I’m not some person in the bar who comes up and asks to buy you a drink. We’ve known each other for a long time, and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You also haven’t known me for a few years, and I’ve grown up. We have good chemistry, Scarlet. You can’t deny that.”
“Chemistry isn’t everything.”
“It doesn’t hurt any.”
“No.” Somehow now she was trying not to smile. “It doesn’t hurt, but that’s not nearly what a relationship should be based on, and no, we can’t have a relationship because I’m thirty-eight and you’re twenty-three. I’m going to get old and you’re going to be just starting to be in the prime of your life. You’re going to lose interest, not just because of the physical changes, but because you’re young and you have things you want to do with your life. I’ve already been there, and I’m settled.”
“That’s such a load of trash,” Neera scoffed. “You haven’t done half the things you wanted to do because you had the store to worry about, and Bryan the other half the time. You want kids, Scarlet. I know you do. Bryan was an imbecile, and that was just one of the many things that you want that he denied you. We could do those things together. I don’t necessarily want to go off and see the world. Am I ready for a family? I don’t know. With you, I could be.”
“Neera!” Scarlet stood up suddenly, shoving back her chair. She rubbed small circles at her temples where a headache was starting. “No. It won’t work. It can’t.”
Neera slowly raised one foot, setting her heel on the edge of the desk, then she joined it with the other. She set her hands behind her head and looked directly at Scarlet. “I’m in love with you, Scarlet.”
Scarlet’s heart ground to a slow, screaming halt.
“It’s only grown with time,” Neera admitted. “It’s dug into me, put down roots, infected every part of me in a good way. There’s not one bit of me that’s been left untouched. You deserve to be loved and appreciated. You deserve it and if you fight for it, we can make it work because I would fight for you. I would never give up. You’ll always be beautiful. You’ll never be too old. Your dreams? I want them to be mine too. I’ve tried to talk myself out of this so many times. I’ve actually tried everything. I’m not shrinking away from it anymore. I can’t just move on. I left because I needed to have time apart, to try and get over it, but it’s been years and even when I was gone for years, I never got over it. What I feel has never gone away.”