I force a smile and cram more chicken into my mouth
to hide the fact that I nearly just chocked on the chicken I was
eating. Did Steph really just invite me over to her parents’
house? Just like that? As a friend? As more than a friend? Is
she going to tell them? Does she mean in the future? How far
&nbs
p; into the future? What if she tells them and it turns into a crazy
disaster? They don’t even know yet. What if they hate her?
What if they hate me because they blame me for their daughter
turning into a lesbian? What if- God, this isn’t moving slow.
I glance at Steph from lowered eyelashes. She looks
happy. So freaking happy.
I wonder what it would be like to feel that way again. I
want to be happy. I am happy, but always at the back of my
mind, there’s this crap crowding in. That dog turd hidden in
the grass that you accidentally step on with bare feet and it’s
mushy and nasty.
I don’t say anything. I don’t want to ruin this. This was
one of the best nights of my life. I push down my mouthful of
lemony, peppery chicken, and I push down my rising panic,
the doubts, the fears, the stupid voices that are constantly
nattering asshole things to me.
I wash it all down with a sip of beer. It’s bubbly and
fresh and pairs perfectly with the wings.
I’m not going to let anything ruin this night. Who
knows what could happen in the future. Doesn’t everyone
always say it’s uncertain? Not guaranteed?
Well, no matter what, I’ll always have this night.
Chapter 14
Stephanie