whispers.
I’m not sure why she called me over here. I’m glad I
came because she really looks like she needs someone to talk
to right now and I’m glad to be a friend, even if it’s taking all
my concentration and willpower not to shift closer and set my
hand on her arm or leg. As a friend. Comfortingly. To take her
hand in mine. Because that’s what friends do for each other.
They offer comfort when something is wrong.
I expected her to tell me something drastic. That she
has a secret fiancé that her parents don’t approve of and this
was all for show to throw them off track. That she’s moving
away. That she’s made the decision to go back to college like
she was talking about and she won’t have time. I did think,
from her panicked tone, that there might be something truly
wrong, and that scared me nearly senseless, so I made myself
not think about it.
But this? She’s already told me this. Over breakfast. A
few times before. So I’m confused about what the emergency
was. For once, I don’t say anything. I just wait, sensing that
there has to be more.
“I- ’m the problem. I’m always going to be the
problem. I haven’t been honest with you. With myself. With
anyone. Ever. I…I’m not… That is…”
This is getting weird. Is she secretly married? Was she
really just doing this for show? Did her parents know about it?
Maybe that was the point. She wanted her parents to know so
they’d stop trying to hook her up with guys she didn’t want to
go out with. Family friends. Things that made her life messy
and complicated. Maybe she was just doing it for them and not
for herself at all.