Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on my side still.
Evie watched my hand, then guessed, “Married?”
Jacinda smacked her on the shoulder. “Of course he’s the only one she’s ever married because they’re still married. Layla’s not a bigamist.”
Turning to face me again, she clapped excitedly. “I’m enjoying this game. Okay, lemme think. Is he the only one to ever give you an orgasm? That boy sure looks like he’d be the primo of orgasm primos.” When I shook my head, both of them looked back at me, disappointment evident on their faces. “He didn’t make you come?”
Evie covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh, that’s awful. You know, you think you have someone figured out, but then you find out they’re like a map app when you need it the most, and it sends you on a wild hunt for the address across fields and tries to get you to go along pedestrian walkways.”
Jacinda glared at her. “I said I was sorry. I heard it was the best app, that’s why I recommended it when you had an issue with the Apple one.”
“Wait,” I called, holding a hand up. “Why didn’t you just download Google Maps? And how does anyone have a problem with the Apple one? It’s the easiest thing to use out.”
Evie blushed and looked over my shoulder at the wall behind me. “Both apps hate me.”
Jacinda chuckled and shook her head. “She keeps trying to put in her current location first and wonders why it won’t let her put in the destination.”
“It says location,” Evie snapped.
Jacinda just grinned at her friend. “Sure it does. Anyway, we’re not talking about your crappy luck with map apps and how you almost got arrested and nearly drove into a lake, all in one trip.
“We’re here to talk about Mrs. Montgomery and have just been informed that Mr. Montgomery’s shit in bed. No wonder she didn’t find someone else to do the deed with. That’s like when you go to a restaurant after hearing amazing reviews, but the food you get is shitty. You don’t want to go back and risk having another shitty meal, so you steer clear of the restaurant.”
She leaned over and grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze. “Or, in your case, shitty penises.”
I refused to let any of the pleasure I felt at hearing her refer to me as Mrs. Montgomery show on my face. Instead, I glowered at both of them.
“I didn’t say he was shit in bed or with his penis, I said he was my first and only. I was his first, too.”
I swear both women’s jaws hit their knees. Jacinda immediately curled up in a ball on the chair, meaning her jaw did hit her knee because it was right under her face.
“You’re shitting me,” Evie breathed.
When I shook my head, Jacinda made a choking noise. “You were Mark Montgomery’s first?”
Seeing my nod, both women began fanning their faces, and Jacinda even got up and began pacing around my room before running over and closing the door tightly.
“Lord have mercy, girl. I don’t… How—” she stopped talking and looked almost pleadingly over at Evie.
Apparently my other friend wasn’t going to be much use to Jacinda either because she just shook her head. “I got nothing.”
Looking between the two with a frown, I asked hesitantly, “What’s the big deal? Everyone has a first.”
“Sure they do,” Evie whispered, “but a man like Mark would likely have gotten his out the way the second he realized what a penis could do. I can picture all the girls at school throwing themselves at him while he tried to get his social studies book out of his locker.”
Jacinda was nodding, but then she asked, “Why social studies? Why not biology?”
“Okay, biology, then,” Evie snapped back. “Jeez, the point I’m trying to make is that for a guy who looks like him to have waited for one woman—the one he’s married to, no less—that’s huge, Layla.”
“Huge,” Jacinda agreed, emphasizing it by holding her arms out as wide as she could.
“You’re talking like I don’t know that. I spent years watching the girls throwing themselves at him. It didn’t matter what grade they were in, they tried everything they could to get his attention.”
Jacinda retook her seat and added, “I’ll bet you anything some of the teachers did, too. You can’t tell me he’s changed that much since he was in eleventh or twelfth grade.”
She probably had a point.
A memory hit me. “You know, at one of our football games, the head cheerleader, Bryony Smith, flashed him on purpose. She wasn’t wearing any underwear and knew she’d be in front of him during a lift and that he’d likely be the only one who saw it.”