I suck on the head of his cock, teasing the piercing with the tip of my tongue. “Go on,” I say between licks. “Danger? Pregnant women?”
“Right, right,” he mutters, his hips flexing when I take him into my mouth again and start bobbing my head. “I just…I…” he groans. “Need…safe…kef, Helen. I can’t think with you sucking on me.”
He doesn’t sound like he wants me to stop, either. Which is good, because I don’t want to. I continue to work the base of his cock with my hand while using my lips and tongue on the rest of him. I know I’m distracting him away from his problems, but Mathiras feels wound up tight, and I think he’ll feel better after he comes at least once. He thinks the responsibilities of the universe fall upon his broad shoulders, and while he does take on a lot, he needs to realize he has an amazing mate who adores him and wants him happy, too. I try to put all that love into my mouth, and when I suck on the tip and he erupts against my lips, groaning my name, I feel pride that I can make him forget his worries.
Even if he only forgets for a short time.
The moment he finishes coming, I lick my filthy lips and press another kiss to the head of his cock, nipping on it and making him twitch in response. “Feel better?”
Mathiras scrubs a hand down his face. “Am I the worst mate ever if I say yes?”
“Absolutely not. You’re the best mate,” I say staunchly. “Wait there and I’m going to get a towel to clean up.”
“I should be the one cleaning you up—”
“Wait. There.” I make my voice ominous. “We’re not done. You still haven’t told me your troubles.” I retrieve a towel from the lavatory and wipe my face and breasts off, then return to Mathiras, mopping at his skin. I’m glad to see he didn’t move, though he’s smiling with amusement at my bossiness. “You still need to talk. So…talk to me.”
“It’s not that important. And it’s nothing I’m sure I haven’t said before. Don’t worry about it.”
I shake my head, tossing the towel aside once he’s cleaned off. “I don’t care if I’ve heard it a thousand times before. It’s still weighing on you, and so we need to talk it out. Tell me your thoughts.” I sit on the bed next to him. “You can tell me anything and I’ll have your back.”
To my surprise, Mathiras looks awed and grateful, as if it’s never occurred to him to spill his concerns out to anyone else. “You sure you want to hear my griping? No one else does.”
My poor Matty. It’s hard being the strong one at all times when no one else wants to hear it. I’m tempted to go grab Adiron and Kaspar by their horns and knock their heads in, but Matty needs me more. I slide down against his big body on the bed and tuck myself against him. “Tell me everything.”
CHAPTER 107
MATHIRAS
It feels really good to spill out my worries to Helen. They’re all concerns I’ve mentioned before, but Helen listens as if it’s the first time she’s heard them, because she knows it’s weighing on me. Unlike talking to my brothers, Helen doesn’t mock me for my concerns or make jokes or wander away as I’m bringing things up. Kas and Adi are my brothers and I love them, but kef me, they’re impossible sometimes. They don’t take anything seriously.
I didn’t know I needed to unload on someone until just now.
“The living situation worries me the most,” I confess to her. “A ship like the Gaze isn’t a problem for one baby. They have a state-of-the-art med-bay and deep coffers. They have a big crew and no one would mess with her. The Sister is more of a target. And with you and the carinoux on board, we’ve got a lot to guard and not enough manpower.”
“Do you need more crew, then?”
I’ve been considering that. It’s hard to trust strangers with my ship, much less the lives of my brothers, their mates, and my mate, too. “I’m not sure. I like to think that we’d be able to find trustworthy people, but the price of a single carinoux can buy a warship. A pregnant carinoux on a ship with a qura’aki? It might be too much temptation for even the most honorable of pirates.”
“What about the human clones?” Helen asks, petting my chest to soothe me.
“They’d have to be trained, and even then we’re still a target.”
Helen thinks for a moment. “So perhaps the wisest course is not to corsair at all? Would you be averse to settling down?”
“If it means keeping you safe? Not in the slightest.” I mean it, too. Just thinking about Helen in danger feels like it’s adding gray hairs to my head. I want her protected and happy. I know she can take care of herself, but just because she can murder people with ease doesn’t mean it won’t eventually weigh upon her conscious. I don’t want her to be continually forced into uncomfortable decisions to protect me or others she loves. “I worry my brothers won’t be on board, though.”