I give my brother an impressed look. “You figured all this out?”
He shrugs. “I was bored and Zebah was in the lavatory for hours doing her hair. What the kef else was I supposed to do? So I started digging around on old nav charts and public records. My guess is that it’s all out in the open, but it’s buried under bureaucracy and the fact that there’s not a lot of reason to come out here to check things out. She’s operating right under everyone’s noses.”
Guess we can’t call Adiron the dumb one anymore. I clap a hand on his back. “I’m glad you’re here, brother.”
Adi grins up at me. “The sooner we get rid of Zebah and Bethiah, the sooner I’m back to my mate. That’s all I want right now.” Adiron picks up a mug, sniffs the contents, and then downs it. “This was fun for a while, but I just really want to get back to Jade.”
I can’t say I blame him. If Helen wasn’t at my side, I’d be impatient to return to her. Funny how my perspective has changed so much in the last few weeks. When we were alone on the mining station, I did everything I could to keep distance between us, because I desperately felt like I’d be taking advantage of her if I touched her. Now that I know her better—and I’ve seen her in combat—I’ve realized that Helen is entirely her own creature—fierce, dangerous, and as loving as she is lethal.
CHAPTER 81
HELEN
I stare at the massive ship on the screen, comparing it to the last glimpse I had of the Buoyant Star. It’s big. Bigger than I’d have imagined. The Buoyant Star was huge compared to the Little Sister, but this new ship puts both of them to shame. It’s bigger than all of Port, and I thought Port was enormous. Part of me worries how our small group is going to take over this ship and rescue the humans, but a small hind-part of my brain is already calculating suggestions. There will be doors to each hall that can be sealed and the controls destroyed. We can move methodically through the ship, forcing our enemies into a corner—
“You nervous, love?” Mathiras asks at my side, his hand going to the back of my neck and giving it a comforting squeeze.
I love his heavy hand there, and I beam up at him. “Just considering how we’re going to save the humans.”
“Dora mentioned they were kept in a smaller hold,” he says, gazing at the ship on the screen. “I’d wager there’s a much smaller cargo ship docked on that monster that they’re being kept on. No one’s going to dock, release the humans, and then round them up again. Far easier just to leave them where they’re at.”
“So we could take the smaller ship,” I agree. Inwardly, my mind runs through sample scenarios. On the larger ship, we can remove or disable the air filters, choke them out and give them no place to go. If we can’t take the smaller ship, I can open up the engine compartment, rip out cords to disable…and then I pause, because these aren’t good thoughts. “Matty?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you think there’s something wrong with me?” I bite my lip, a little concerned. “The moment we suggest a plan of attack, my brain starts thinking of ways I can destroy their ship or the bad guys on board.”
He’s quiet for a moment, and his hand gives my neck a squeeze. “I think that when they created you, they designed you to be a bodyguard or an assassin. Something beautiful and rare that no one would see coming.”
That’s what I’m afraid of. That my brain is tampered with and now I’m a bad guy. Panic curls in my belly and I wrap my arms around my waist, hugging myself. “I’m not like Dora and Ruthann. I realize that now. And when we were back on the Buoyant Star, I was always super into taking down anyone that tried to take over our ship. Jade would always tell me that we’re not going to kill anyone because that makes us as bad as them, but I always wanted to. She said it was because I was young and I didn’t have enough life experience to know better, but…I don’t think that’s the case.”
Mathiras’s thumb strokes my neck. “And this worries you?”
I nod, terrified. “I don’t want you to not love me because I’m a bad guy.” I’ve been so happy these last few days, exploring sex with him and chasing down the slavers. I love all of this, I realize. Not the rush of adrenaline that comes with a fight, but the satisfaction of knowing that I protected my mate. Of knowing that I’m helping save humans who can’t save themselves. “Ruth is a clone but she’s not like me. She doesn’t want to kill bad guys. So I feel like there’s something wrong with me and you’re going to become scared of me.”