“I’m just trying to figure something out. You appear truly distraught over this holiday no longer in existence, but your lips curled in revulsion with every word you spoke.
“So, I’m trying to figure out what you actually miss about it. I remember you explaining why you dislike the solstice celebration, is it the same for Christmas?”
It hadn’t occurred to January that her conversations up to this point would have remained the same, just with different reasoning.
“So, I told you everything? My birthday, the wedding, all of it?”
“Don’t you remember?”
Slouching back in her chair January truly felt as if she was losing her mind. She wasn’t sure which way was up, which way was down, or even what had happened before today.
“I think I do, but everything is such a jumble right now.” Then the kiss from last night popped in her head and she remembered how it left her panting in the parking lot.
Leaning forward, January whispered, “We. . .um. . .did we kiss last night?” She hated to ask so bluntly, but it was such a perfect kiss that she felt as if she would die if he said no. January had some wild dreams in the past and she absolutely didn’t want this one to be a dream. Her palms began to sweat as she waited breathlessly for his response.
At first, she thought he was going to play coy and not reply, but he answered with a nod before leaning forward in the booth. His elbows perched on the table and he drew one of his strong fingers across his bottom lip. January was mesmerized by the movement and couldn’t pull her stare away, no matter how hard she fought against it.
She tried to look away and failed - until he started speaking, then she found herself falling further down the rabbit hole. “We did and it was the hottest kiss of my life. And I’d really like to do it again. Soon.”
She sat there, slack-jawed. And January was almost positive her cheeks were the same color as the red tablecloth.
“Now, tell me why you actually miss Christmas. Not what everyone else is missing out on. But what you miss. Was there anything you liked at all?”
The question left her speechless. Reasons for liking the holiday left her memories many years ago, but as she sat and pecked away at her sandwich she realized something. January realized that while she hated how much Christmas had overshadowed so many special times in her life, it brought happiness to so many others, especially her parents. They loved the holiday and all the hubbub associated with it. But most of all, they loved being with family.
January’s mother had her Christmas traditions that, to January, forced her to participate in things she had no desire to do, but she did it because she knew that it made her mom happy. And if her mom was happy, her dad was happy.
Pushing the empty plate to the edge of the table, she grabbed her pen and started scribbling in her notebook.
“So, every year since I can remember, my mom did her own personal countdown. It wasn’t something like marking days off a calendar. It was something special we did on certain days leading up to Christmas Day.”
“Okay. What kind of things? Maybe they do something with the Pineville Winter Solstice Celebration that is similar.”
Continuing to write out the countdown she remembered for this year, January didn’t look up from her paper as she mumbled, “Maybe.”
Finally, she stopped writing and gazed down at the paper before her, images of previous year’s events flashed in her mind.
“Want to share what you wrote down?” Deckard asked. Her head jerked upward at his question and she has to shake her head to free it of her memories.
“Yes, sorry.” She handed over the notebook to Deckard’s waiting hand and he started scanning it over, his eyes moving with each word on the page
“So, this is ten days out?” At her nod, he continued, “Day one: decorate Christmas tree?”
“Yes, so we would go find the perfect pine tree and decorate it with beautiful glass ornaments, lights, garland, and tinsel that have been passed down in my family for years. There used to be a tree lot here in town, but I’m guessing that isn’t the case anymore. Your grandparent’s store had a beautiful Christmas display with differently decorated trees.
“Every year I brought an ornament to place on my parents’ tree. It was really special. It was something we did as a family. Through the years, most of my siblings forgot, but I remembered every year. My mom always had what we called her pretty tree. It looked like something out of a magazine. She loved Christmas too much to wait to put up a tree, so we put up two.”
Pulling his gaze away from her, Deckard quickly glanced down at the sheet and then asked, “Day two: make ornaments?”
“My mom is super crafty. She would come up with some design for us and we’d make an ornament to place on the garland she draped on their fireplace mantle.”
“I’m guessing the previous year’s ornaments are placed on the tree?”
“Always.” I smile, remembering my mother’s delicate touch as she treated each ornament as if it were the most prized treasure. “She had a special spot for each and every one.”
January’s smile grew in fondness until it dawned on her again that there was no Christmas, and she’d never again see the look of delight in her mom’s eyes.
“Okay, you also have written down: make gingerbread houses and cookies, family night with a Christmas movie -”