CHAPTER 21
Harper pinched herlips together. She tapped her foot. She folded her arms and chanted calming words in her head, but nothing was helping. Mason’s words had hurt. Like, really, really hurt. She knew he was upset. She knew he was worried, as many first time parents were. She also knew that this was her fault. And apparently Mason thinks so too.
On her way over here, she had been ready to give it all up in order to be with Mason and Layla, but now Harper was having doubts. Mostly because it looked like Mason wasn’t ready for her to give up everything to be with them.
“Mason?”
He barely glanced over his shoulder. His stance next to the bed portrayed every bit of his anxiety. His muscles were tight, his fist was at his mouth and he looked like he kept biting it as if to stop from saying something he shouldn’t say.
“Can I talk to you for a moment?”
Mason’s eyes finally met hers. “Not right now,” he said hastily. “I don’t want to leave her.”
Harper nodded and forced herself to remain in her seat. She could wait it out. The doctor was busy sewing up Layla’s forehead. It wouldn’t be too much longer. Once Layla was back in his arms, Harper was positive that Mason would be reasonable enough to talk with.
An hour later, Mason was receiving instructions on how to care for the child at home and how to watch for signs of a concussion. The doctor felt that she was fine, but it was best to be safe.
“Thank you,” Mason said over and over again. “I’ll do that. Yep. Everything. I’ve got it.”
Harper stayed back, not wanting to agitate him, but she was glad to see he was starting to relax now that Layla was done with her visit. It was a nearly forty-five-minute drive back to Seagull Cove. They could talk in the car.
“Are you ready to go home?” Harper asked once they’d reentered the waiting room. She smiled at Layla and pinched the little girl’s knee.
Layla grinned, but continued to gnaw on the sucker they had given her as a parting gift.
Mason shifted, pulling Layla out of Harper’s reach. “Actually, Crew is on his way. He’ll take us home.”
Harper stopped moving, stunned by his words. “I...” So it wasn’t something just said in the heat of the moment. “Mason...I know her accident was my fault, but mishaps with kids happen all the time. Can you really not forgive me for that?”
Mason’s face darkened. “None of this was your fault,” he said fiercely. Looking around, he moved them to a corner of the waiting room where others wouldn’t be able to hear their conversation. “This was all my fault. Plain and simple.” Closing his eyes, he dropped his chin to his chest. “If I hadn’t let myself get so distracted by you, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“No...Mason...” Harper reached out to touch his chest, but Mason stepped back again. She let her hand drop. On her way to the hospital, Harper had thought she knew what pain was. Layla being hurt was her fault and no adult who loved a child didn’t feel pain when the child did. It was a part of life. When Mason pulled Layla away the first time, it had hurt. When he said Crew was picking them up, it had hurt. All of them combined was starting to steal her breath.
But nothing could have prepared Harper for the direction this conversation was going and what it was doing to her already bruised and confused heart.
“What are you saying?” Harper asked. “Just spell it out.”
Mason took several breaths before he finally answered her. “I can’t do this, Harper. For years I held back because I was afraid to split my time, but a couple weeks ago I made the biggest mistake of my life by giving into my attraction to you.” He shook his head, looking away. “I should never have kissed you. I’ve always had such good self control, but you were there and helping me and...gah!”
Harper’s muscles tensed so hard she was afraid she was going to pull something. Each and every word coming from his mouth was like another stab wound. He wasn’t just upset about Layla getting hurt. Mason regretted everything. Every moment, every touch, every kiss...all the things that Harper had decided were worth fighting for. They meant nothing to him.
Mason pushed a hand through his hair. “Do you even understand?” he asked. “Layla was given to me. ME! I was asked to care for her and I’m facing a battle in court, trying to prove I’m a fit father, and yet what did I do? I turned my back over a stupid kiss.”
Harper actually stepped back at the venom in his words. She didn’t need to hear anymore. She understood. Straightening her shoulders, determined not to show how much he was breaking her, Harper stuck her chin in the air. “Thank you, Mason,” she said, proud that her voice wasn’t shaking. “I understand completely. Take care.”
Spinning on her heel, she marched out of the emergency room, not bothering to wipe the tears flowing freely down her face. Mason couldn’t see them anyway, so what did it matter if she allowed herself to cry?
She got back into her car and found her way back to the main road. The ocean was on her left and the road looming ahead of her. For once she didn’t see the beauty of the sand or the waving grasses. The waves crashing into shore or the families playing in the surf might as well not have been there.
Harper could barely see through her tears to stay on her side of the road. Wiping at her eyes, she took a deep breath. She needed to stay in control enough to drive, but she would also allow herself the tears.
The drive was all she was going to get. Once she got home, Harper would apologize to her mother. She had been right all along. A good, solid career was going to be all that mattered. Steady and dependable. Something that wouldn’t turn around and bite the hand that fed it.
She had tried. She’d tried to make a career of her painting and had failed. She’d tried to help Mason and had failed. She’d given Mason and Layla her heart and it had been returned in a bloody pulp.
Everything had failed.
And when everything fails, there’s only one thing to do. Harper was going to pick herself up, learn from her mistakes and move forward in a new direction. A completely new direction.
And she would never turn back.
*****