Late that night, after the most relaxing day swimming in the pool, laughing with her friends, eating the best meals, staying up late drinking just a little too much although they had to get up early, Zale snuck into her room and crawled into bed with her. He was voracious, the way he always seemed to be with her. Vienna was equally as demanding, and he was receptive every single time.
The dream woke her, her breath catching in her lungs, the memories pouring in. You can never trust them, Vienna. They’ll lie to you every time to get what they want and then they’ll walk away, leaving you shattered and broken.
Don’t tell her that, Avril.
It’s true. You know it’s true. I thought he loved me. He said he didn’t do babies and he’d pay for me to get rid of her. That we could still see each other after if I wanted, but he was working on his career. He thought I understood that. We never even discussed his career. When I said I wouldn’t consider abortion, he said I was on my own.
He wasn’t the right one, Avril. Not all men are like that.
They are. Every single one of them. I don’t want her to ever feel like this. Not ever. Look at me now. Broken and alone. If I didn’t have you, Mitzi, what would happen to her? I’d die and she’d go into the system.
I love her. You know I do. I’ll take care of her. I want it to be legal, though, so he can never come back on me.
I have an insurance policy. It isn’t much, but it will help for a while. He’ll send money if you ask for it.
I don’t want anything from him. He didn’t want her. Just get him to sign his rights away.
I asked the lawyer to do that a long time ago.
Vienna closed her eyes. Her birth mother. Avril. She remembered her vaguely. How old had she been when Avril had passed away? Avril had whispered her mantra to her over and over for years. They can’t be trusted. They lie to you. They’ll say anything they think you want to hear in order to get their way.
It had been her birth mother instilling her deep fear of a real relationship, rocking her as an infant and toddler, whispering what she believed to be a truth to protect her daughter. Mitzi had tried to stop her, so she’d just stopped doing it in front of her. Vienna knew that kind of indoctrination at such an early age could be extremely difficult to overcome.
She turned over and snuggled closer to Zale instead of turning away from him the way she normally did. She would talk to Mitzi about her memories of Avril and then let Zale know what she’d remembered. It was such a relief to finally get to the bottom of her fears.