Chapter Five
Justice
"Milan?" I feel across the bed for her, only to find cold sheets instead of the warm little blonde who kept my dick hard all night. I never imagined that holding someone could feel so damn good but having Milan in my arms was close to perfect. Being the man to watch over her while she slept, the one who got to hear her adorable sleep talk…nothing compares to that.
Where is she?
My eyes pop open, frustration coursing through me. I thought we made progress last night, but she's not in bed with me now…which is pretty solid evidence to the contrary.
Did she get spooked?
Was my nightmare too much for her?
I've had them for a decade. The past few years, they've changed. She's become entwined in them. Finding her in Ainsley's room guts me every single time. She's always in the same place, laying in front of the closet as if to protect Ainsley. She looks like she's sleeping. Until I roll her over. And then I realize there are some pains worse than any I've ever felt before, some futures bleaker than I ever imagined. The only thing worse in this life than not having her as mine…is living in a world where she no longer exists.
She's not sleeping in my nightmares. She's gone just like Julian and Marissa. Those blue eyes stare up at me, hiding entire volumes even in death. They burn me alive.
I prefer the older nightmares. They hurt, but they don't rip at my soul the way the ones with Milan do. Those are a kind of torture that sinks soul deep. She thinks my men follow her because I care. That's not true though. They follow her because the thought of something happening to her is my worst goddamn nightmare. Literally.
Care doesn't begin to cover the way I feel about her. If there's a word that's deeper than love, more emphatic than obsession…that's what I feel for her. She's a piece of my soul, one I recognized the day I met her. I need her the same way she needs me. I need to be the one who holds her when she's afraid and feeds her when she's hungry. The one she laughs with and cries with. The one she defies and adores in equal measure.
I'd defy God himself to keep her by my side.
"Fuck," I groan, jackknifing out of the bed to go find her. I'd kind of hoped to wake up to her this morning, but I guess our truce ended when the sun rose. Though, I can't even lie. The thought of what type of hell she's going to raise today already has my dick stirring in anticipation.
I've always been a man who likes order and control. I like being the one who calls the shots, the one no one questions. I have no control with Milan. She upends my life and throws my world into disarray without hesitation…and I love every minute of it.
The way she defies me is a hell of a turn on. She tells me exactly what she thinks about me and my rules and doesn't even flinch. Even when she thought I was there to hurt her yesterday, she never flinched or backed down. She faced me, brave and defiant and so damn sweet.
God, she's the sweetest little angel I've ever met. There is nothing she won't do for the people she loves. Even though she and Ainsley are the same age, she's always been protective of my niece. In my nightmares, she dies trying to keep Ainsley safe because that's who she is. Even though it terrifies her, once she gives you her trust, she gives every single ounce of herself. She loves with her whole heart and soul, holding nothing back.
And for some reason…she believes I'm worthy of all of her. How can an angel love the devil? Maybe, just maybe because the devil isn't the monster he always thought. Maybe he isn't beyond redemption. If she sees something in me worthy of her love…well, I'm not stupid enough to prove her wrong. I'll work like a madman to love her the way she deserves to be loved, to teach her that she will always be safe with me.
I quickly throw on a pair of sweats and brush my teeth before heading out to find her. I'm halfway to the guest suite when I hear her downstairs.
"Travis, I swear to God, if you don't let me out, I'll…I'll…" Milan growls.
Travis murmurs something in return that I can't hear.
I shake my head and jog toward the stairs to save him before Milan kicks his ass too. Unlike Willis, Travis would just stand there and let her do it. He's the closest thing I've got to a friend. He knows exactly how I feel about Milan Cooper.
"You're a big bully, Travis Jessup," Milan swears.
"I'm just following orders."
"Justice can shove his orders up his…" She spots me coming down the stairs and spins to face me. She's wearing one of my t-shirts and a pair of shorts that make her legs seem ridiculously long.
How is it possible that she got more beautiful between sundown and sunrise?
"You," she growls. "Do you train your men specifically to get on my nerves?"
"No. It's an added benefit." I jog down the last few steps.
Travis meets my gaze over her head. His lip twitches as if he's trying not to laugh. The bastard. He never says it, but I know he thinks it's hilarious when Milan is giving me nine kinds of hell. He slips out of the room, leaving me to face off with her.