My heart soars and splinters, all at once. ‘I’ve missed you too.’ Such a bland way to explain what I’ve been feeling!
He nods slowly. ‘I came here today because I wanted to apologise to you.’
‘What for?’
‘I was in a really bad place. You were beautiful and kind and I acted like an asshole. I came here because I don’t have a lot of friends, and I was hoping we could be. Friends.’
‘Friends,’ I repeat, nodding when my heart is groaning under the weight of disappointment.
‘I miss you. I want you in my life, Cora.’ A muscle jerks low in his jaw. ‘If you think that’s possible.’
I stare at him, confused and lost. ‘I want you in my life too,’ I say honestly. ‘But not as a friend.’
His eyes lock to mine and something flares between us. I wouldn’t notice a reaction at all if it weren’t for the way his chest stills, as though he’s holding his breath.
‘I fell in love
with you, Holden. Messed up, angry, lonely you. I’m glad you’re getting help and that you’re dealing with all your stuff, but I loved you at your worst. Why the hell do you think I wouldn’t love you now?’
He makes a noise that’s half-groan, half-laugh. ‘Why would I think that? Because I shouted at you and reduced what we were to “sex” and then disappeared out of your life completely.’
‘And that hurt, believe me. But you did it for me; I knew that at the time and I know that now. You were protecting me, trying not to hurt me. I got it. It made me love you all the more.’
Another sound of surprise. ‘I thought about you every day too, Holden. I didn’t want you to disappear from my life and I never wanted you to feel like you had to face your battles on your own. I wanted to—and always will—stand shoulder to shoulder with you, no matter what you’re staring down. I just needed you to want to stare it down too. I want to support you, I want to help you, and I want to be with you.’ And when he still doesn’t say anything I reiterate, ‘I love you.’
Now he moves, closing the distance between us completely, our wet bodies melded together, his mouth seeking mine, his kiss so familiar, his body so warm and strong despite the rain, so perfect that I lose myself in his arms—or is it that I find myself right here, with the only man I’ve ever loved?
‘You have term holidays next week, right?’
I blink, surprised by the rapid change of subject. ‘Um, yeah. Why?’
He expels a small sigh. ‘I was wondering how you’d feel about coming to Alaska with me.’
‘Alaska?’ I laugh. ‘For a little salmon fishing?’
‘Sure. And to see the Northern Lights.’
My heart skips a beat. ‘You want us to go see the Northern Lights together?’
‘Baby, I want us to go everywhere together, but let’s start there first.’
I bite down on my lip, happiness bursting through me, brighter than the Aurora Borealis could ever be.
‘So?’
‘So...’ I pretend to consider it for a minute. ‘You’ve got yourself a deal, Holden Hart.’
He grins, a sexy, wolfish smile that lights all my pulse points on fire. ‘Remind me to tell you something funny later.’
‘Tell me now.’
‘Later.’ And he kisses me, driving all thoughts of anything else clear from my head.
* * *
‘You were going to tell me something.’ Her fingers are feather-light on my naked torso. I trap them in my grip, lift them to my mouth and kiss them.
‘My shrink told me.’