I’m still trying to build up a savings account and I have a lot of catching up to do in terms of putting money away for my own retirement. And that’s not to mention desperately needing to put something aside for college if Everly chooses to go.
Pushing the thoughts aside, I go into the house and find Aunt Kim in the kitchen making tea. An array of bills lay scattered on the table along with a calculator and her checkbook. It has to cost an arm and a leg to run this place, not to mention all the vet bills.
“Need help with anything?”
“No, honey, but thanks. Just getting organized.” She pulls a tin of loose-leaf tea down. “Would you like any?”
“Sure, thanks.” I get two mugs down and sit at the opposite end of the table, scrolling through TikTok on my phone. Now that Everly’s fourteen, I let her open an account. She hadn’t posted anything until yesterday, and her video is of her and Maria doing some sort of dance. They’re in the pasture with Penny and Bailey grazing behind them. It’s harmless, a little cringe, but totally something fourteen and fifteen-year-old girls today do.
I notice several hospital bills stacked up on the table when I look up to take my tea from Aunt Kim. The top one has a date from just a few weeks ago. I had no idea she was in the hospital.
“Is there a special man in your life?” Aunt Kim asks, grunting in pain as she lowers herself into her chair. “Or woman?”
“No to either. The last serious relationship I was in didn’t end well.” I raise my eyebrows. “At all. I, uh, had to get a restraining order but that alone wasn’t enough.”
“Men,” she scoffs.
“Right?” I wrap my hands around the warm mug of chamomile tea. “What about you?”
Aunt Kim laughs. “I’ve had my fair share of special men.” She gives me a wink. “Special for one night, that is. Two if they knew what they were doing.”
I let out a snort of laughter. “I think that might be the route I’m going to take.”
“Nah, you’re young. You’ll find someone. Though, there’s no shame in having multiple lovers.”
“How you and Dad are related is beyond me.” I blow on my tea, shaking my head. “Dad is so uptight.”
“He takes after our own father. We were raised in a strict house. I saw the consequences of it and knew that wasn’t how I wanted to live my life. Your father saw it as the way things should be.” She shrugs and leans back. Yellow light from the pendant lights above us highlights the dark circles under her eyes. “And that structure was passed onto Louisa and I’m seeing it more in Elijah as he gets older. But you…you’re a free spirit.”
“I don’t feel like it,” I admit, running my finger over the floral design on my mug. “Not anymore.”
“I see it in you. You can’t keep that spirit bottled up forever, kiddo.”
“Right,” I say, not sure exactly what she means. Silence falls over the table for a moment.
“Did I ever tell you how much you look like my Taylor?” Aunt Kim presses both hands on the table, pushing herself up. She gets a photo album from one of the drawers and comes back to the table. A lump starts to form in my throat as I open the album. Taylor was Aunt Kim’s daughter who died in a car accident when she was four years old.
“You were born almost exactly nine months after she passed,” Aunt Kim goes on. Taylor was always something we didn’t talk about. It brought Aunt Kim too much pain and, as a kid, I didn’t understand it, especially since my middle name is Taylor in her honor. When I became a mother, I did…but also didn’t. Though, who am I to judge? Everyone grieves differently.
“She came to me, in a dream.” Aunt Kim’s voice is soft and low. “The day before your mother went into labor.”
I flip a page, looking at photos of a very pregnant Aunt Kim, standing with her ex-husband. He was driving the car when the accident happened, and Aunt Kim was at home. It wasn’t his fault as the car slipped on ice and went into oncoming traffic, but losing a child is the worst thing anyone can go through. They got divorced not long after.
“She was grown up in that dream,” Aunt Kim continues, and I take in a steadying breath. “You two would pass for sisters.” She chuckles. “More so than you and your actual sister. She told me I was going to have a niece. Your mother didn’t want to find out what she was having until you were born. Taylor was right. She said you’d be special, and you are.”
And now I’m crying. I flip another page, wiping away my tears. The next two pages are filled with baby photos, and when I get to the last page, there’s a loose photo tucked into the binding.