“I really don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry that you died, especially that way.”
Within arm’s reach.
“It wasn’t your fault, Zoey.”
“I just feel like if I should’ve done something different. I should’ve been better. I should’ve saved you.”
He gathered my hands in his and I marvelled at how solid they felt in mine. How solid all of him felt. Even as he moved, the surrounding air stirred as though he was real.
“I don’t want you to blame yourself. Fin is going to blame himself no matter what. Even if I stand at the end of his bed as a ghost and tell him not to. Can you try to get him to understand that it wasn’t his fault? I’m pretty sure you might be the only person who can get through to him about it.”
I shook my head and gripped his hands tighter. I opened my mouth again, trying to gather the words to express my sympathy, my regret. Most of our friendship had been rocky, especially given our mutual feelings for Fin. I wished he’d used this last little bit of himself to talk to Fin, but knew he couldn’t. Fin was a pure fae, he couldn’t connect with the Captain the way I could, through our mage magic.
Grasping onto the first thing that popped into my head, I said, “Is there anything you can tell me about that knife?”
He shook his head. “No, I knew he had it. There are several weapons with those sorts of abilities, but it’s sort of an unspoken rule that you don’t use them against others with magic.”
“So what, you’re supposed to save them for people without magic? That doesn’t seem right. If you can’t tell me about the knife, can you tell me anything about how to steal it from him, or how to negate its magic? Either way, Esteban isn’t following that rule anymore. He used it on Finn after you.”
His entire body went rigid, and his eyes flew wide. “What?”
“Don't worry, I took care of him. We’re at the Chief’s cottage right now. It looks like the Chief’s hatred of magic actually saved Fin’s life.”
His long gusty sigh of relief blew my hair around my face. “I fear Esteban is too far gone.”
“What do you mean?”
“Esteban has always been a little unstable. But our last several encounters he’s been even more so. And now, killing me with that weapon, and going after Fin. I fear he’s jumped off the deep end and there’s nothing that will be able to stop him.”
I wasn't going to take offense at that. “Well, I’m going to give it my best shot, especially since all I can think about is driving that damn knife right into his belly. Anything you know that will get that knife out of play?”
The Captain nodded. “Of all of the people I know, I think you could at least give him a run for his money. And yes, you need to find a metalsmith. They are rare, but they might be able to help either take apart the magic in the weapon, or give you something to help fight against it.”
At least give him a run for his money?
I shoved at his shoulder in mock affront. “For the record, he and I have gone head-to-head three times now. And every time I’ve come out alive.”
He snorted. “Barely alive, maybe?”
Even his residual consciousness was giving me shit.
“Is there anything you need?”
He nodded. “I want you to be easy with Fin. He acts way tougher than he actually is. Every time he closes down, and pushes you away, it’s his way of trying to protect himself. Just be gentle.”
I glared at him. “Be gentle with the man who keeps lying to me? How do you propose I do that?”
My tone carried some of the bite I used on Fin earlier.
The Captain averted his gaze from mine. “He doesn’t mean to keep lying to you. The man is fucking old, Zoey. Be patient with him as he learns both the ways of modern women and your ways.”
“I don’t even know what that means?”
His snort called me an idiot. “Ask me how many women he’s dated in the many. many years he and I have been friends.”
Not that I wanted to know. Okay, my jealous ass did. “Just tell me.”
“One. He’s dated one woman, casually, seriously, any of it. And that one woman is you. He tends to stay away from the opposite sex, and he doesn’t date men. As long as I’ve known him, he’s been going it alone, despite all that he has suffered and lost. So, you’re a novelty to him and he doesn’t know how to act.”