It’s Eamon’s birthday, and I have no idea what to get the man who has everything, so I am making his favourite food, which thankfully is my wheelhouse. Macaroni and cheese with smoked sausage. He calls it comfort food, and I like it too. It’s one of the three things I can make.
It’s not much, but he really has everything. Watches, ties, electronics. There is nothing I could buy that he doesn’t already have. I went shopping twice and both times came away empty-handed. Instead, I went to a lingerie store and bought some gauzy contraption that makes me look like a present. It’s strappy and has bows. It’s cheesy, I know, but I really couldn’t think of anything. I am standing in the kitchen wearing practically nothing, cooking. Eamon had an emergency in the textile factory of his family’s company, but he texted to tell me that he was on the way home about twenty minutes ago.
I’ve just pulled the pan out of the oven when I hear the elevator ding.
“Hello?” my mother-in-law shouts from the other room. I look down at my outfit and freak out.
“Annie?”
“We’re all here,” she shouts.
“Uh. Feck,” I mumble. “Please make yourself at home,” I say before scrambling into the bedroom. Once inside the closet, I pull a wrap tie dress down off of a hanger and put it on, deciding to leave the gold strappy heels on. Running a brush through my hair, I think I look pretty cute. I rush out into the living room, where my husband’s entire family stares back at me.
“Hello, dear,” Neil says, pushing past his wife to pull me into his arms.
“Hi. I wasn’t expecting you guys.”
“It is my oldest son’s birthday,” Annie says, rolling her eyes. “Why wouldn’t we come here?”
“Calm down, Mama,” Tara says from her place next to her boyfriend, Hans, who is also an actor.
“Yeah, Ma,” Flynn says, chuckling. Dorothy, the girl from the night we got home, is now his wife. She’s pregnant with twins and as big as a house.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“You should be,” she says.
“You know what? I’ve had enough of this. I’m sorry. Sorry, I married Eamon without you knowing about it, but I didn’t know about you, to be fecking fair. If you are going to be mad, be mad at Eamon. I’ve been nothing but nice and accommodating to you. Whether you like it or not, I am your daughter-in-law, and we need to get along. This baby doesn’t care if we like each or not right now, but she’ll care soon enough.”
“It’s a girl?” Annie says. We were keeping it a secret, and of course, I’d be the one to blow it.
“It is.”
“I’ll admit, I’ve been a bit testy about you, but you are right; it’s not you. I just can’t believe that my son, the son who never dated, got married so fast and without his family.”
“What if we had a do-over?”
“What?”
“What if Eamon and I get married again and have a huge party. We could do that.”
“I’d be okay with that.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do,” I say as the elevator opens again and Eamon walks in.
“Happy Birthday, son,” Neil says.
“This is a surprise. I had anticipated a quiet evening.”
“Nonsense. It’s your thirty-fifth birthday; we must celebrate.”
“Mom, I’m sorry I’m exhausted as I am the only one who went out to the factory for the fire. I’ve spent hours answering questions from the damn fire marshal.”
“It was just a small fire. The whole lot of us didn’t need to go there. We’d just be in the way.”
“Even so.”
“What’s wrong?” I ask, knowing immediately something is wrong.
“I don’t like to celebrate my birthday,” he says. “And these guys know that.”
“But…” Annie says. “It’s your birthday.”
“I know, mom.”
“Fine, we’ll go. But I want a huge party, don’t forget, Fiadh,” she says, before kissing Eamon’s cheek. One by one, his family hugs him and departs.
“What party?” he says, as he comes closer to me.
“We are getting married again.”
“Okay,” he says, shrugging.
“Just like that?”
“I’d marry you every day for forever,” he says, and I love him even more for it.
“You always know just what to say. Happy birthday, husband.”
“Thank you, wife.”
“I have something for you,” I say.
“A present? I like presents, as long as they are from you.”
“Oh, good.” I untie my dress and let it fall to the floor.
His mouth opens and closes several times before he says, “Sweet Jesus, baby. You look amazing.”
“Thank you, but you should unwrap your present,” I say, putting my hands on my hips. He stalks toward me and pulls me into his arms.
“Fuck, Fee. You are everything to me.”
“You’re everything to me,” I reply.
“Let me get you out of this thing,” he says, spinning me around, making me gasp. He deftly unties the first strap, but that’s where the thing got tricky for me. Instead of even trying, he rips it off of me, tossing it to the floor.