Cassian barely dared to breathe. Azriel hovered behind him as Rhys stood before the bed.
Slowly, that flame receded. Vanished like smoke.
Slowly, Nesta’s body relaxed.
And then her breathing evened out, her body going limp. Blissfully unconscious.
Cassian swallowed, his heart pounding so hard he knew Azriel could hear it as his brother came up beside him.
Then Rhys inhaled sharply, his body full of movement again. Azriel asked, his own shadows gathering at his shoulders, “What happened?”
But Rhys just walked to the little sitting area and slumped into a chair. The High Lord’s hands were shaking—trembling so wildly that Cassian had no idea what to do. From the worry etched on Azriel’s face, neither did his brother.
Cassian asked, “Should we send for Feyre?”
“No.” The word was a snarl. Rhys’s eyes flared like violet stars. “She doesn’t come near here.”
“Was that …” Azriel glanced to the bed and the unconscious female atop it. “That was Nesta’s true power? That silver fire?”
“Only the surface of it,” Rhys whispered, hands still shaking as he ran them down his face. “Fuck.”
Cassian braced his feet, as if he could physically intercept whatever Rhys was about to say.
“I went into her nightmare.” Rhys peered up at Cassian. “Why didn’t you tell me you attempted a scrying today?”
“It didn’t work.” And Nesta’s fear and guilt had been so heavy in the room that his chest had ached. He’d left her alone afterward, knowing she’d want privacy.
Rhys blew out a shuddering breath. “The scrying was a trip wire. For the memories. I caught that as I went in.” His throat worked, as if he’d heave, but he held it down. “She was dreaming of the Cauldron. Of … of when she went in.” Cassian had never seen Rhys at such a loss for words.
“I saw it,” Rhys whispered. “Felt it. Everything that happened within the Cauldron. Saw her take its power with her teeth and claws and rage. And I saw … felt … what it took from her.”
Rhys rubbed his face, and slowly straightened. He met Cassian’s stare unflinchingly, his eyes full of remorse and agony. “Her trauma is …” Rhys’s throat bobbed.
“I know,” Cassian whispered.
“I guessed,” Rhys breathed, “but it was different to feel it.”
“What is her power?” Azriel asked.
“Death,” Rhys whispered, hands trembling again as he got to his feet and aimed toward the window, which was now repairing itself shard by shard, as if a careful, patient hand worked upon it. He gazed at the female sleeping in the bed, and fear clouded the face of the High Lord of the Night Court. “Pure death.”
CHAPTER
30
The dream had been real and not real, and there had been no end to it, no escape.
Until a familiar male voice had said her name.
And the terror had stopped, as if the axis of the world had shifted toward that voice. That voice, which became a doorway, full of light and strength.
Nesta had reached a hand toward it.
And then there had been another male voice in her mind, and this one had been familiar as well, and full of power. But it had been kind, in a way she had never heard the voice be to her, and it had eased her from the black pit of the dream, leading her with a star-flecked hand back to a land of drifting clouds and rolling hills under a bright moon.
She had curled up on one of those hills, safe and guarded in the moonlight, and slept.
Nesta dozed, heavy and dreamless, and did not open her eyes until sunlight, not moonlight, kissed her face.
She was in her room, the sheets askew and half-spilled on the floor, but …
Cassian was sleeping in a chair beside her bed.
His head was at an awkward angle, and his wings drooped onto the stone—and he was wearing only his undershorts and a blanket that looked as if someone had draped it over his lap.
It had been a nightmare, she realized with a cold splash of awareness. She’d dreamed of the Cauldron; she’d been lost in it, screaming and screaming.
And it had been his voice she’d heard. His voice and …
There was no sign of Rhysand. Just Cassian.
She stared at him for long minutes, the unusual paleness of his face, the brows still scrunched with worry, as if he fretted for her even in his sleep. The sun gilded his dark hair and shone through his wings, bringing out the undertones of reds and golds in both.
Like a knight guarding his lady. She couldn’t stop the image, sprung from the pages of her childhood books. Like a warrior-prince, with those tattoos and that muscle-bound chest.
Her throat tightened unbearably, her eyes stinging.
She would not let herself cry, not for herself or for the sight of him keeping watch beside her bed all night.
But it was as if her furious blinking woke him, as if he could hear the flutter of her lashes.
His hazel eyes shot to hers, like he always knew precisely where she was. And they were so full of worry, of that unrelenting goodness, that she had to fight like hell to keep the tears from falling.
Cassian said gently, “Hey.”
She clamped down on herself. “Hello.”
“Are you all right?”
“Yes.” No. Though not for the reason he believed.
“Good.” He groaned, stretching, first his arms and then his wings. Muscles rippled. “You want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“That’s fine.”
And that was that.
But Cassian threw her a half smile, and it was so normal, so him in a way that no one else was or would ever be, that her throat tightened again. “You want breakfast?”
Nesta managed to answer his half smile with one of her own. “I like your priorities, General.”
“What happened to you?” Emerie asked as they panted through their abdominal exercises. “You look white as death.”
“Bad dreams,” Nesta said, willing herself not to look to where Cassian stood, instructing Roslin from a respectful distance on how to do a proper squat. They’d had a quiet breakfast, but it hadn’t been awkward. It had been comfortable—easy. Pleasant.
Gwyn asked, on Nesta’s other side, “Do you have them often?”
“Yes.” Nesta finished a sit-up, grunting through the weakness in her middle.
“Me too,” Gwyn said quietly. “Some nights, I need a sleeping potion from our healer to knock me out.”
Emerie gave Gwyn an assessing look. Emerie never asked about Gwyn’s past, or the histories of the other priestesses, but she was a cunning female. Surely she’d seen the way they kept a healthy distance from Cassian, scented their hesitation and fear, and put a few things together. Emerie asked Nesta, “What did you dream about?”
Nesta’s body locked up, but she launched back into motion, refusing to let the memories master her. “I dreamed of the Cauldron. What it did to me.”
Gwyn said, playing with her hair, “I dream of my past, too.”
But Gwyn’s admission, Nesta’s own, didn’t weigh them down. Nesta’s head had cleared slightly. And somehow, she found she could push herself harder.
Perhaps in voicing those truths, they’d given them wings. And sent them soaring into the open sky above.