“There, there,” I said. “It’s…. There, there.”
“My gods, Sam,” Gary said. “Are you actively trying to make things worse?”
“Hey!” I said. “It’s not my fault I’m a handsome devil and don’t know how to talk to children!”
“I’m not a child,” Zero said. “I’m fourteen years old. I know a lot of stuff, okay? You’re all just old and don’t remember what it’s like to be my age. You don’t know what it’s like to be me. You don’t know my life.”
“Zero?” Gary cooed. “Honeybunch. Listen to your aunt Gary, okay? I knew Sam when he was fourteen, and guess what? He went through the same thing you’re going through. He was… well. Awkward is probably the nicest thing I can say. You ever see those birds with the tiny bodies and really long legs that do nothing but squawk all the time? Yeah, imagine that in human form. That was Sam.”
“What?” I rolled my eyes. “No it wasn’t. I was never awkward. Tiggy. Tell him.”
Tiggy scratched the back of his neck.
I narrowed my eyes. “Tiggy. Tell him.”
“Don’t like lying,” Tiggy said.
“But… you wouldn’t be…. Tiggy. Tiggy. Of course I wasn’t weird and awkward as a teenager. I skipped right over that whole thing and was amazing as I am today!”
“You’re weird and awkward now,” Kevin said.
“Hey!”
“So there’s hope,” Gary said to Zero. “You’ll see. One day, when you’re Sam’s age, you’ll blossom into the most handsome snake dragon monster thing that ever did live.”
“But I don’t want to wait until I’m forty-five!”
“Forty-five?” I shrieked. Then I coughed, slapped my hand against my chest a couple of times, and responded much more reasonably. “Forty-five? I’m not forty-five. That’s ridiculous.”
“Oh,” Zero said. “Do we not round up anymore? It’s been a while since I’ve been awake. I could be wrong.”
I stepped forward, meaning to choke the life out of the gigantic dragon, but Ryan snagged me by the arm and was able to stop me before I could even get my hands on him, which was probably for the best, what with the destiny thing and all.
“Easy,” he whispered in my ear. “You don’t want to piss him off even more.”
“He’s pissing me off.”
“Yeah, but you’re the older one here. Not like that, don’t give me that look. You know what I mean.”
“I wasn’t awkward as a teenager,” I said.
“I knew you when you were a teenager,” he reminded me. “Maybe a little awkward.”
“You never even talked to me.”
“I stared at you a lot.” He shrugged.
“You creepy bastard. It wasn’t bad, right?”
He grinned softly and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek, lips lingering. I saw Zero watching us, but when he saw he’d been caught, he quickly looked away. “Not bad,” Ryan said. “I maybe even loved it a little.”
“Sap,” I muttered, but my heart was tripping all over itself, so maybe I was too. I cleared my throat and looked back at the others. “Look. It’s getting late. It’s been a long day. Kevin, can you fly back to the other side of the cavern and get our packs? We can stay inside the dome tonight and worry about everything—”
“Wow,” Zero said. “Way to ask. Gods.”
I closed my eyes and counted to five, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “I’m sorry?”
“The dome is mine,” Zero said. “That’s where I live. You can’t just go in there without asking.”