“Is it possible he’s getting worse?” Gary asked. “Because it seems like he’s getting worse.”
“He so special,” Tiggy cooed.
And then, because I wanted to get this godsdamned show on the road, I bent over, picked up a good-sized stone, and chucked it at th
e motherfucking snake dragon monster thing.
It was a good throw, if I do say so myself.
Especially since it hit Jekhipe right in the eye.
“Ha!” I crowed. “Take that, motherfucker!”
And Jekhipe said, “Ow! Why you gotta be so mean like that?”
I scoffed. “Because you deserved—wait. What.”
Chapter 18: And That Was How I Met a Teenage Emo Dragon
“YOU HIT me in the eye,” the snake dragon monster thing known as Jekhipe said.
“Wow,” Kevin said. “I am sorry for him. If it makes you feel any better, he did the same thing to me when we met. I’m starting to think he has a thing for hitting dragons in the eye. Which is rude, by the way.”
“I don’t know why I’m so surprised you can talk,” I said to Jekhipe. “Like, I heard you in my head and everything, but you’re like… you know. You. What the fuck.”
“Yeah,” Ryan said. “What the—”
I glared at him.
“—heck?” he finished with a scowl on his face.
“Of course I can talk,” Jekhipe said. “I’ve been talking to the wizard since I woke up.” He frowned and then slumped to the ground, laying his chin in the dirt. His wings drooped at his sides, and the hood around his head sagged. “Then he had to go and be all mean to me.” He blinked the eye I’d hit with a rock rapidly.
“Are you… are you pouting?” I asked, incredulous.
“I’m allowed to pout,” Jekhipe said, sounding morose. “I’m in pain and everything is really lame right now, okay? Gods.” His wings drooped farther.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked faintly.
“I think you hurt his feelings,” Gary said, sounding amused.
“I did? He was trying to eat us!”
“Excuse you,” Jekhipe said. “I was not.”
“Then what the fuck was that whole coming-after-us thing!”
“I thought we were playing around.”
“Is this real life?” I asked Ryan. “Or did you get me drunk again to try and have your way with me and this whole thing is a hallucination?”
“Yeah, because I need to get you drunk to do stuff to you,” Ryan said dryly. “All I have to do is look at you and you’re ready to go.”
“Bullshit.”
He smoldered at me.
“Sweet molasses,” I whispered. “It’s like you were dipped in sex and I need to lick it—”