The silence was deafening. But then, the silence usually was when it pertained to me. I was used to it.
Vadoma didn’t look affected. She was very good. “The star dragon has spoken! He has used me as his vessel to spread the word of the man in shadows that threatens our very existence. We must take his words of warning as truth. If we do not, we risk being swallowed into the dark, along with the rest of Verania.”
“Not that that’s going to happen,” I spoke up, because fuck her for trying to instill fear in people. “Because I’m going to gather the dragons of Verania and kick some motherfucking villain ass. You’ll see. I got this.” I grinned rakishly at them. “I’m Sam of Wilds.”
“And how do you plan on gathering the dragons?” a voice called out.
The entire crowd turned to face me again.
I grinned less rakishly. “Um. What?”
“The dragons. How do you plan on gathering the dragons? You do have a plan, right?”
“Oh,” I said. “Well. Um. You see. It’s not that simple. But it’s not that complicated either! I swear. I mean, I already got one after all. See?” I pointed my thumb over my shoulder at Kevin.
They all looked up at him.
Kevin preened. He tapped his chest with a fist and cleared his throat. “Hello, my dutiful subjects. I am the Lord Dragon, here to taketh your shinies and your virginities—”
“Exactly,” I said loudly, stopping that before it could start again. “So. One down, four to go, right? And I got him with no troubles, so how hard can it be?”
“Sam,” Kevin hissed at me. “You’re making me sound as if I was easy.”
“You sort of were,” Gary said. “I just had to flutter my eyes at you and you were gone.”
“This is pretty much true,” Kevin said. “But! I am my own dragon now, single and ready to mingle! Maybe I’ll find some nice young thing here to take back to my keep. I’ve done it before. And this time, there won’t be any pesky wizard telling me I can’t take my hoard with me! How about it? Is there a fit gypsy man with abs who would like to punch my junk?”
“All of your hoard was moved into the castle,” I reminded him. “Because you wouldn’t stop bitching about it. You literally go in and lay on it almost every day. And then you come out and tell everyone about it. For hours. Oh, look at me, my name’s Kevin, I like to go lay on rubies and books and other shit.”
“I have brooms,” Tiggy told the crowd. “Kevin give me brooms. I keep them because they’re mine.”
“And I fought the dragon bravely,” Ryan said. He started to pose, miming that he had a sword, taking a defensive stance. “The fierce and mighty creature roared and breathed fire, but I rode in on my trusty steed to save my true love…”
“Who you callin’ a steed, you pasty-ass motherfucker?” Gary snarled at him.
“…sword drawn and at the ready. The battle was long and arduous, but soon I had vanquished the dragon so Sam could gather him as part of his quest to save Verania,” Ryan finished with a flourish, winking like an asshole at the crowd.
I snorted. “That’s not what happened at all. In fact, I didn’t even need to be saved. I was doing just fine. And I wasn’t even gathering dragons then. He just sort of followed us home. Besides, you just stood there and poked Kevin with your sword.”
“Yeah, you did,” Kevin said, forked tongue slithering out and running along his teeth. “You want to poke me again, Knight Commander? Once you go dragon, all the rest is lag—”
“I have a push broom,” Tiggy said. “And a whisk broom.” He paused, brow furrowing. “And a dust broom….”
“Call me a steed again,” Gary said, pressing his face against Ryan’s cheek as he crowded against him. “One more time. I dare you.”
“Meep,” Ryan said.
“And that’s how I plan on getting the dragons of Verania,” I said in conclusion, feeling really good about this whole thing.
However, the only sound we received in response were crickets. Actual crickets. I didn’t know they had any in the desert. Talk about bad timing.
Then, “Are you sure you got the right person?” someone called out from the crowd. “Because I don’t know if you got the right person. I mean, he has a dragon and all, but. You know. Are you sure?”
I was moderately offended.
Vadoma was glaring at us.
Ruv’s lips were twitching, like he was holding back a laugh.