They took a step back, eyes wide, muttering to each other in the gypsy tongue. I was hit with a little pang at the thought of my mother, how much it sounded like her. She would have grown up in this place, and left it all behind to be with my father in the slums. She gave up a life in paradise to be with the one she loved. Gods, that was romantic as all hell.
“Sorry,” I said, putting on my most winsome smile. “We were… distracted.”
“Distracted by my dick,” Gary muttered.
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I elbowed him in the throat, ignoring the way he started choking like a drama queen. “We have come from the City of Lockes,” I said. “I am—”
“We know who you are,” the guard on the right said.
“We know why you’ve come,” the guard on the left said, and it was only then that I realized they were twins, with beautiful dark skin, black hair pulled back tightly in a bun. They wore thin pants cinched at the ankles and brightly colored open vests with nothing underneath, showing off lean muscle on hairless torsos covered in tattoos. They carried spears in their hands, but they weren’t pointed at us. Their dark eyes were trained on me.
“She is expecting you,” Right said.
“We are all expecting you,” Left said.
They bowed in unison.
“Creepy,” Gary singsonged under his breath. “Do you think they make out at all? I’d be down with that.”
“That’s… good,” I said to the twins, a little taken aback. “I am glad you’re—”
They stood back up, ignoring me completely, looking up at Kevin instead. “Lord Dragon,” Left said. “It is an honor to be standing in your glorious presence.”
Everyone but Kevin groaned.
“No,” I said. “You can’t say that to him. You don’t know what you’ll unleash—”
“Lord Dragon, you say?” Kevin said, cocking his head. “Lord Dragon. Well now. This is certainly… expected. It has been far too long since I have been addressed as such.”
Left and Right turned to glare at me.
“What?” I asked. “I didn’t do anything. He’s not a lord—”
“Don’t listen to the plebian,” Kevin said, affecting an air of superiority. Like an asshole. “He shan’t know what he spaketh of. Thou shalt listen to me: Lord Dragon. The Beast from the East. Thy and they may calleth me his majestic majesty, King of all dragons…. Kevin.”
“That’s a terrible name,” I whispered to Gary.
“He’s a terrible dragon,” Gary whispered back.
“I like it,” Tiggy said. “Lord Tiggy, King of Brooms and Happy. Capitalized.”
“It must be true now,” Ryan said. “Because that’s how that works. I know this because I’m a part of the group and fit in and belong.”
“He tries so hard,” Gary said fondly. “Too bad he fails more often than not.”
“I do not!”
“Yes, your majestic majesty, king of all dragons, Kevin,” Left said. “A most wonderful title. It… rolls right off the tongue.”
“Yes,” Kevin said, “it does. Things often roll right off my tongue. Like words. And bodily fluids from twins—”
“And that’s probably something we shouldn’t be talking about,” I said quickly. “Because certainly a lord of your status wouldn’t be so crass in front of people we don’t even know.”
Left and Right glared at me again.
“What?” I asked, confused.