“Can’t you see?” Kevin said, clutching a clawed hand to his chest. “You’re letting them tear us apart!”
“No,” Gary said, voice breaking, eyes glittering with tears. “You’re doing that well enough just on your own.”
“Gary sad?” Tiggy said, breath hitching in his chest.
“Oh no,” I whispered.
“I am so sad!” Gary wailed. “My dragon lover thinks his name should be first!”
“I sad too!” Tiggy yelled, gathering Gary up in his arms and rocking him back and forth. “Sam! Be sad with us!”
“Godsdammit,” I muttered, taking a step toward them.
“What are you doing?” Ryan asked, grabbing me by the arm. “We have to deal with this.”
“Bro-code,” I said. “Bros before hoes. Sorry, babe.”
“I am not a ho.”
I patted him on the hand. Poor guy. Denial was a terrible thing.
Before I could get to Tiggy and Gary to hug it out, Kevin stopped me, leaning down until his large head was eye level with me. “I hope you know that I’ll still be there for you, champ,” he said gruffly. “Even if your mother and me are no longer together. Weekends, okay? And I don’t want you to worry if I get a new… friend. You’ll always be my number-one brave little sexy guy, okay?”
“Still not used to that at all,” I said.
“None of us are,” he said, tongue slithering out and brushing on my fingers.
“Oh, gross,” I muttered.
“Sam!” Gary cried. “Get over here and love me!”
“Sam!” Tiggy yelled. “We need love!”
And really, what else could I have done in the face of that? Nothing, I tell you.
I went. And just as soon as I got within grabbing distance, Tiggy’s large hand wrapped around my arm and jerked me into his chest, holding me tight. Gary was crying prettily against him, these precious little sniffs coming out his nose in periwinkle sparks that did little to Tiggy’s thick overshirt. “Sam,” Gary said wetly. “Is this what heartbreak feels like? Like I’ve left on nipple clamps for so long that I’m numb to everything only to have them taken off and slapped, sending pain shooting through my body like lava burning my insides?”
“That’s actually surprisingly accurate,” I said, reaching out to run my fingers through his mane.
“See what you’ve done?” Kevin yelled at the crowd. “Your hatred just tore the love of my life from my arms. How dare you, ladies and gentlemen. How dare you.”
The crowd murmured amongst themselves, taking a step back.
“What is happening?” Vadoma asked. “What is all this?”
“Par for the course,” Randall said. “This is actually quite tame for them. Unfortunately.”
“Nothing has been lit on fire yet,” Morgan said. “So I count this one as a win.”
“Pretty Gary,” Tiggy murmured. “There, there. There, there.”
“That bastard,” Gary said. “How could he end this on something as trivial as not giving me top billing when I obviously deserve it? I want to murder him and leave his bones out in the sun to dry—you know what, time out.” His eyes dried immediately, and he lifted his head from Tiggy’s chest. “Can we all agree to not talk shit about my ex? Especially since he’s part of Sam’s destiny. It’ll just make things awkward in the long run.”
“Agreed,” Tiggy said.
“I also agree,” I said. “I’d like to add an addendum. Can we never refer to me having a destiny ever again? Because that’s really lame and I hate it.”
“Struck down,” Gary said. “Because you do.”