I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t speak because I couldn’t think of a single word to say. How this had never crossed my mind, I didn’t know. It should have. The moment my magic said finally when Ryan stood at my side, I should have known. The moment Morgan even told me about cornerstones for the first time, I should have asked. How Randall had been able to say goodbye to Myrin. How Morgan had been able to say goodbye to Anya. I never knew the extent of their relationship with each other, but someone who meant that much to you, someone your magic recognized as a means of completion, their passing could not have been anything but devastating. But I’d never even thought of it, so wrapped up in having Ryan at my side, that I didn’t think of the repercussions. Gary and Tiggy and Kevin were magic. They still lived and would most likely live beyond even the oldest of wizards. My parents weren’t there because they were dead. The King was dead. Randall was most likely dead.
And Ryan? Ryan had died of old age. After a life lived.
“But…,” Vadoma said, sounding regretful.
“But what?” I asked roughly, wiping my eyes. “You tell me a man is coming. That a star dragon predicted my birth and told you that I would face a rising darkness. That even if I defeat the dark man, even if I gather the dragons and somehow am able to stop the darkness, that in all possible endings, Ryan dies? But. What.”
“It is the price of the power you wield.”
“Then maybe I don’t want this godsdamned power!” I shouted at her. “Maybe I don’t want any of this!” My voice echoed around the silent throne room.
“It’s not about you, chava,” she said. “It’s about the greater good. There are more forces at work here, forces that care not about the love you think you carry for the Knight Commander.”
“I don’t think. I know.”
“Do you?”
“You said but.”
“I did. But I don’t know if you’ll hear me.” She sounded regretful.
And I fell right into her hands. “I’m listening.”
“Because you’ll do anything for him.”
“Yes.”
“You care for him.”
“Yes.”
“Do you treasure him?”
“Yes.”
“You would lay down your life for him.”
“Yes.” And then I knew what was coming, because we’d done this dance before.
“Would you let him go if it was for the greater good? If it meant he could live a life free from the pain of an early death? Free from the trappings and attachment that come with those that aren’t purely mortal?”
And I hesitated. Of course I would. Because I was a wizard, and maybe I was more powerful than anyone else in the world, but I was still human. I was still covetous. Jealous. Prideful. What was mine was mine, and I wanted nothing else to touch it.
Vadoma came to stand before me, reaching up to cup my face. “You will lose him,” she said quietly. “One day. Either by the hands of your enemies or by the passage of time. You will watch him fall when a sword pierces his flesh. Or when magic stops his heart. Or, and maybe the worst of all, you will watch him age while you do not. You will see the end coming and won’t be able to do anything to stop it. The moment you chose to love him was the moment you chose to watch him die.”
“No,” I said hoarsely. “I refuse to believe it. I refuse.”
She dropped her hands. “And that is your right, naïve though it may be, chava. But I speak only in truth. Morgan and Randall have hidden so many things from you, least of all this. But I can offer you something more. An… alternative. Something that may have your Knight Commander live to see another day.”
“What?” I asked, hating the way hope bloomed in my chest.
“Ruv.”
I stilled. “What about him?”
“He is the Wolf. The magic in him is latent, but it is there. His life, while not as long as yours, will be extended. It is the gypsy way. Your mother forsook it when she chose that… that man over her own people. She is my daughter, and I will love her until the end of my days and beyond, but I cannot follow her path. I can bring you home, Sam. Where you belong. With your family. Continue as you are and everything you love will crumble before you. At least with our people, you have a chance.”
And, okay. You know what?