“All the highlights,” I said, suitably impressed.
Lots of twitching going on.
“Also,” I said. “One more thing.” I reached into my robe in the inner pocket and pulled out two matching beards from my old Mervin days. “Disguises. So we won’t be recognized. If all goes well, then William will understand why you had to lie. Especially if it’s for love. Do you want to put this on or should—you know what. I’ll just do it. Just… hold still. You’re kind of tense. Like really, really tense. It’s not good for your back. And your hands are fists right now. So much tension. Sorry the beard is a little wet. And sticky. Tiggy spilled juice on it right before we left and I didn’t have time to clean it. Just gonna hold it on your face for a moment to make sure it sticks… annnnd done.”
He looked ridiculous.
“You look amazing,” I said. “William won’t know what hit him.”
I had the best ideas.
I HAD the worst ideas.
Not that they started out that way, mind you, but for some reason, they tended to devolve quickly and out of my control. Dragons, truth corn, getting gay fairy married, turning boys to stone, and asking an important wizard to not explode my nipples. I’d like to think I have the best intentions in mind, but I lose the thread partway through.
Like today, for example.
I wanted Justin to find love.
And thought what if I brought love to him?
Ergo, I put out a search for love.
And then bring him to love.
Foolproof, right?
Almost. Except for the fact that William seemed to be almost as big as Tiggy, wore an entire herd’s worth of leather, and made us call him Sir.
Justin and I sat side by side in the open-air café that William had suggested we meet at. (Though, if I was remembering correctly, he’d said negotiate rather than meet, but I had
a lot going on at the time, so I couldn’t be faulted for not remembering every little detail.) I wore a beard similar to Justin’s, something that Sir hadn’t missed, given that he’d raised an eyebrow as we approached and said, “I’m down for twins.”
I should have known it was going to go downhill from there.
“Now, I understand you’re looking to be dominated,” Sir said.
Justin squeaked.
“Uhh,” I said. “I don’t think that’s quite what I—”
“Did I say you could speak, boy?” Sir asked sharply.
“No, Sir. Sorry, Sir.”
He waited a beat, as if making sure I wouldn’t step out of line again. I didn’t, because I didn’t want to get fisted or have something shoved up my pee hole.
“Now. We should probably discuss hard limits,” Sir said. “I’m okay with most things, even the… fluids… some others might have problems with. Even the more solid ones.”
“So unbelievably gross,” I breathed in awe.
“Also, after you sign the contract, you will become my personal property, and I like to share. I have a lot of friends who will want to tear off a piece for themselves while I watch. You will treat them with respect while they treat you like a piece of meat. It’s how these things go. Also, I have this kink where I treat my subs like footstools.”
“I will see you castrated for this,” Justin whispered furiously at me.
“Stop saying things he might like!” I whispered back.
Sir coughed in warning.