“I wasn’t posing,” Joe said.
“Totally posing,” Elizabeth said.
“Ox—”
“Totally posing,” I managed to say.
“Fine,” he said. “I can tell when I’m not wanted.”
No, I almost said. You’re always wanted.
I always want you.
I never want to leave you.
I never want to say good-bye.
I’m sorry, Joe.
I’m so sorry.
I said, “For just a little while.”
“Yeah?” Joe said. “And then you’ll want me? I feel so used.”
I nodded.
“Hey,” he said, and he was right by my side, pressed up against me, nose pressed against my neck. “I was just joking. You know I don’t mean it like that.”
“Yeah,” I said.
He kissed my jaw. “I’ll leave you to it, then. And later, I’ll let you show me how much you want me.”
He smacked my ass and cackled as he left the room.
WE SAT down to Sunday dinner, all twelve of us. Because it was tradition. It was what the pack did.
I sat at the head of the table. Joe was at my right. I’d told him before that he should have his father’s chair. He’d shaken his head and said I looked good where I was. No one tried to say he should have sat at the opposite end of the table like his mother and father had. It felt better to have him at my side.
The table was cluttered with food. Our pack laughed and smiled as they served themselves and each other. They fell silent, one by one, waiting.
The Alphas always took the first bite. For the wolves it was instinct. For the humans it was now routine. No one ever complained, because it was just how things where.
I picked up my fork.
I could do this.
I had to do this.
I put down the fork, because I couldn’t do this. Not without saying good-bye.
Joe’s hand covered mine.
I looked up at him.
He was watching me, concern on his face. “Ox?”
I said, “Sorry. It’s just… it’s been a long day. I’m a little tired.”