It hurt my heart.
I followed them out.
They looked up at me as I walked slowly toward them.
“I don’t know how to forgive you,” I admitted. “To forgive Joe.”
“You forgave Gordo,” Carter said, sounding bitter. “That seemed easy enough.”
“I didn’t forgive him for shit. Just because I talked to him doesn’t mean anything. Trust me, he’s in no different position than any of you.”
“I would do it again,” Carter said.
Kelly made a strangled noise.
“Would you?” I asked.
“If it all happened again, if we had to do every single thing again, I would.” He was defiant. Angry. Scared.
“Why?”
“Because we had to go.”
“You could have taken me too.”
Carter looked frustrated. “You don’t understand.”
“I think we’ve established that.”
“Dad knew.”
Kelly said, “Carter.”
Carter ignored him. He kept his gaze on me.
I glanced between them. Then, “Knew what?”
“He didn’t say it. Not in so many words. Not straight out.”
Kelly said, “Carter, maybe he should hear this from—”
Carter said, “He told us to protect you. That you were special. That you were different. That if something ever happened to him, we needed to make sure you were safe. Just like we would keep Mom safe. Because you were important. But it was different with you.”
I felt gut-punched. My heart was breaking all over again.
“And something did happen to him. He died. And Joe became our Alpha. And all he could think about was stopping this once and for all. All we could think about was keeping you safe. Because if Osmond knew what you were, then Richard did too. And if Richard knew, then you weren’t safe.”
“So you left,” I said.
“Maybe not the best choice,” he said. “But it was the only choice.”
“It sure as hell wasn’t,” I snapped at him. “You could have—”
“We left to end this. To draw attention away from you and find him ourselves,” Carter said. “We left to keep you safe, and by warding you in, we hoped we could keep the others out. We did our best, Ox. Was it the right thing to do? I don’t know. But I would do it again if it meant keeping you safe. Because I don’t think any of us were surprised to come back and see what you’d become. I think Dad knew before all of us that this is who you would be. You made a pack, Ox, out of humans. No one could have done that but you. I’m sorry we left. I’m sorry you felt like we’d abandoned you. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you any of this. But you are my brother. You are Kelly’s brother. We would do anything for you.”
“You can’t leave again,” I said, voice rough. “Not again. You can’t. You would do anything for me? Good. Fine. Don’t leave.”
Carter and Kelly exchanged a look before shrugging almost in unison.