He shook his head. “Don’t be. You have a choice. You’re human.”
I said, “And you? Do you have a choice?”
He said, “It’s you. I would always choose you. I don’t care if it’s a biological imperative. I don’t care if it’s some destiny. I don’t care if you were made specifically for me. It doesn’t matter. Because I would choose you regardless.”
I thought of kissing him then. I thought on it quite a bit.
But I didn’t. I should have.
Instead, I said, “You’re not a monster,” and touched his cheek. His ears. His lips. “You’re not. I promise you. I swear to you. You’re not.”
And he said, “Ox. Ox. Ox.” And he shook and broke and I crumbled right along with him.
I think we both cried a little then.
Because we weren’t yet men.
get you a bear/hurt you
SOMETIMES I drove home in the old truck Gordo had bought me.
Most times, I walked home because I knew Joe would be there.
I could count on it. It didn’t need any explanation. It just was.
So of course he was there, days later. Standing in the shadow of an old elm tree, the sunlight filtering through the leaves and dancing on his arms and neck. He’d been small, before. That first day. The runt of the pack. The little tornado.
But not anymore. Part of it was genetics. Part of it was him becoming an Alpha. He’d grown into himself, and I know he heard the moment my heart tripped all over itself, because he smiled at it like it pleased him.
“Hey, Joe.”
“Hi. Hi, Ox.”
I stopped in front of him, unsure. It’d only been a week since this… thing. This thing had started. This… thing between us.
“Hi,” I said lamely, words drying up on my tongue.
We stared at each other.
It was stupid.
So I said, “This is weird,” and at the same time, Joe said, “I want to take you on a date.”
I choked on my tongue. And coughed. And finally said, “Yeah. Sure. Okay. Yeah. Sounds great. When. Now? We could go now.”
His eyes went wide. “Right now?”
I said, “No! No. I didn’t mean. You know. We could.”
“Oh. Well. Maybe? We could… go. Someplace.”
“Are you going to bring me more dead animals or mini muffins?” I blurted out. Then cringed. “You… ah. Don’t have to.” I didn’t even get to have any mini muffins because the guys at the shop had eaten them all. Except for Gordo. Gordo had just glared at them.
He looked at me strangely. “Do you want more animals? I can go hunt right now! I’ll get you another deer. Or a bear. I’ll get you a bear!”
Then he started taking off his clothes, so I said, “You’re getting naked?” Because of all the skin.
His shirt was already off when he said, “What?”