I was seven months away from being eighteen years old, but I still must not have been a man because I had to blink the tears away. “My father died,” I whispered to him. Joe whined, but didn’t come closer. “She thinks we’re alone.”
The rumble in his chest grew louder, and through the bonds that stretched between us all, I heard hush no never alone here we’re here don’t cry SonPack don’t cry never alone.
I put my hands in his fur and held on tight. He allowed me the moments to grieve, because he knew all I needed were moments.
They passed, as these things often do.
He licked the tears from my cheeks, and I la
ughed quietly.
He put his forehead against mine, and I said, “Okay. I’m okay now. Thank you.”
Thomas turned toward my mother. She let out a small, choked noise and took a step back, shivering.
I said, “It’s okay.”
She said, “This is a dream.”
And I said, “No.”
“Ox!” she cried. “What is this!”
Thomas stood in front of her, bowing his head. He pressed his nose against her forehead, and she said, “Oh.”
fight for me/family is everything
MY MOTHER said, “What a strange world we live in.” And then she laughed.
And then she cried.
The pack huddled around her until the sun came up the next morning.
THE DAYS moved on.
“MOM KNOWS,” I said.
Gordo closed his eyes. I could feel the bond between us as he fought to control his anger. Violet with tinges of blue. Mixed in was gold, and I pushed at it until I realized it was jealousy. The sharp colors faded as he let out his breath.
“It’s your pack,” he said, face blank and voice indifferent.
My own violet pulsed. “Dad died.”
Blue, blue, blue. “Ox. I’m so sorry.”
And then his arms were around me and I was his tether, and I thought he might have been part of mine.
SHORTLY BEFORE my birthday, Jessie kissed me in my room. She pressed herself up against me until I took a step back, my legs hitting my bed.
I sat down.
She straddled my lap.
I laughed quietly and thought about the full moon that night. Mom was going to go with us for the first time, just to see.
Jessie said, “I think we should break up.”
I said, “Okay.”